Record, Rewind, Play.

the games you play

2011-06-06T04:16:00.000+10:00

i got tired of switching between google accounts and blogger refuses to let me keep my old url. *sigh*

www.recordrewindplay.blogspot.com

x-men:first classs

2011-06-04T01:35:00.001+10:00

with yx, eb and cc. hoyts melbourne central.

starring: james mcavoy *swoon*, michael fassbender, kevin bacon, rose byrne, january jones, jennifer lawrence, lucas till, nicholas hoult etc etc.

x-men was one of my favourite cartoons when i was a kid, i remember loving the character storm because she was so cool *not so much after halle berry massacred the character*sobs*. i knew this movie should be pretty decent from all the critic reviews as well as the constant stream of status updates from friends on facebook. and the fact that james mcavoy is in it just makes me want to see it more XD

origin stories or prequels are always pretty awesome. they explain so much of what happens after. it was a brilliant move for the movie to focus on the relationship between erik lehnsherr (magneto) and charles xavier (professor x). the movie did not feel overburdened by action sequences and stunts although sometimes the background music can get a bit overbearing. the feeling i get with this movie is that it takes itself seriously but not too seriously, the balance between action/drama and funny/fun scenes was remarkable.

perhaps one of the best scenes/sequence in the movie was when the mutants were discovering to control their powers, it was so funny yet inspiring at the same time. the end of the scene, where charles helped erik control his power enough to move a freaking large satellite dish was amazing and intense. another amazing scene was where charles put on the helmet connecting him to the cerebro for the first time and detecting all these mutants leading to several amusing scenes where he and erik set out to find and recruit these mutants.

previous x-men movies have always felt slightly cheesy, like they were meant to be comedies instead of action films or dramas. the key difference here is... perhaps the director? *michael vaughn is the director for kick ass if i'm not mistaken* so much was crammed into the slighty more than 2 hour long film and you really get a feel for why the two good friends will become arch-enemies. when the differences in point of views are so basic yet so profound, there's really no way to cross the chasm. i loved how the the actor playing eric (michael fassbender) carries this intensity throughout the film, even more so towards the end when you know there's no turning back for him. james mcavoy was so so good in character development, from a carefree and suave professor-to-be to the driven and confident professor x.

overall, a really, really well made and well acted movie.

total focus is achieved in the point between rage and serenity.

hold back or hide from the light

2011-05-27T13:49:00.011+10:00

i just need an endpoint so that i know what to work towards.

first phd presentation 8th July. advisory committee will be there to either tear my project to pieces or sit there confused about what i'm trying to achieve. i have slightly more than a month to figure out how to sound like i know what i'm talking about.

as of yet, i have no impressive data to show because everything i've been doing has been to set up these 2 major systems that will form the basis of my project.

1. a deep sequencing miRNA library that will yield information on what my protein of interest does to miRNA biogenesis - right now i'm still trying to get a convincing knockdown of my protein of interest in my cell lines of interest. best case scenario is that i will get a good enough library by the end of next month.

2. a RNAi screening system that could potentially save the hassle of thousands of micro-wells AND allow us to discern alternative pathways to miRNA biogenesis - i'm still making target constructs and miRNA constructs to test out the canonical pathway. only if the canonical stuff works will i be able to move on to the non-canonical stuff.

both have the potential of not panning out. my supervisor says it's the experiments that take a long time to set up that yield the best and most exciting results. at the same time, these are the experiments that will kill your spirits if they don't work out.

it feels like time is moving too fast and my experiments are moving too slow sometimes. i've been trying to increase my functioning capacity to the level at which most phd students seem to be functioning at. i wonder whether my inability to do so is due to the fact that i'm just not naturally the full throttle kind of person. it was probably disadvantageous for me to always be the kind to do reasonably well with minimal amount of work at school/uni... and now, when it seems like i really need to contribute the hours and energy, it feels really counterintuitive =S

fall out on her theories

2011-05-15T20:22:00.003+10:00

today i woke up feeling the inexplicable urge to go back to the lab and do work. it is great working in the lab during the weekend- there are minimal number of fellow humans around, and the humans that are actually around understand that we don't really need to talk, a nod and a smile is enough, when it is quiet, when all the equipments you need are free and it's really just you and your work. i did this a lot last year, and while it was usually out of necessity, i really did prefer doing most of my work during the weekend compared to during the work week when everything needs to be negotiated.

days like these remind me of why i'm doing what i'm doing. when i'm doing experiments and searching for answers not out of obligation or necessity but because i actually love what i'm doing. i love the idea that every tiny step of an experiment might possibly result in some new information that no one else knows. that with every experiment i do, there is a possibility that i am contributing to something bigger. days like these are few and far in between. i am generally not an enthusiastic or passionate person. however, the very existence of days like these, when i feel this way, they are enough to keep me going.

we're just trying to find some meaning in the things that we believe in but we still got some ways to go
*the script - science and faith*

i want to see miracles

2011-04-23T09:56:00.001+10:00

switchfoot. 22.04.11. eastland shopping center carpark.

i found out slightly more than a month ago that switchfoot will be coming back to melbourne. tried to get eb to go with me *highest concert going record with any one person yet - 3 times!* but she complained that it was too far. and it was a slight dilemma. you need to have a car to get there. thought of jp and his company car. heh. asked him even though i barely knew him back then and he agreed XD

the major downside to going to concerts, for me anyway, is the fact that there are opening acts. and really, we have no choice but to sit/stand through them. and i feel sorry for them, really. of course there are people who would have heard of them and actually like their music, of course they need this kind of exposure early on to get anywhere in their careers BUT they themselves realize that the majority of the people there couldn't care less and YET they have to give their all in their performances. tough. opening acts: emery (didn't like their songs, too scream-y), inner space (slightly better but i was getting impatient)

vantage point this time around was not bad at all. close enough to the stage to see everything. switchfoot started with 'the sound (john perkins' blues)'. and they went through the whole setlist with next to no breaks and ended with 'dare you to move'. which was super super awesome. the thing with switchfoot fans, they really are fans. they know every word to every song, they jump and they scream and they form such a huge part of the awesome experience. i got swept up in the music, in the lyrics and the people jumping and singing around me. i couldn't help but smile. the atmosphere in switchfoot concerts is just so so different to other concerts, it felt bigger and more personal both at the same time.

no photos this time around as i was determined just to be there to enjoy the show. i felt bad for jp, he didn't know the band and standing around for nearly 4 hours listening to random music, i can only imagine how different his experience of the concert is compared to mine >.<

swicthfoot promised to come back next year with music from their new album, which is still in the works. i'm going, i'm going, i'm going. but i probably need to find someone else to go with me, perhaps another switchfoot fan?

the script. 07.04.11. festival hall melbourne.

went to this on a whim with eb. the script's latest album science and faith is pretty awesome. the songs are all very listen-able, quite a few are actually sing-able. first bad move was getting there late. got squashed in the middle of a really crowded, really stinky pit with lots of taller folks in front of us >.< acoustics was not good in the hall. some of the fans really got into it, screaming the songs along with the band, half the time i'm listening to them instead of the lead singer. heh. that said, it wasn't a bad concert. the band engaged with the audience, i knew most of the songs so i wasn't standing around feeling like a noob and i got a pretty good adrenaline rush from the whole thing. if i ever do go to another script concert i probably would not bother with the pit and just pick a comfy seat somewhere. lol.

into this mad situation

2011-04-09T12:52:00.001+10:00

went to dinner and the melbourne comedy festival with jp yesterday.

dinner was at mrs parma. eb and cc had wanted to try this for quite awhile already but we never seem to get round to it. ordered chicken mushroom parma and some raspberry drink thingy. it was.... ok? couldn't finish it. jp couldn't finish his meal too, which i still find to be weird for a dude.

the show we went to was called headliners. 3 comedians, all from the us- a jewish dude (moshe kasher), a black dude (hannibal buress) and a dude who reminded jp of zach galifianakis from the hangover (tom segura). the first dude was hilarious, he made me laugh till i cry, no joke. i think it's a combination of style of delivery, topics and circumstance. the whole package just worked for me. the second dude had a more mellow way of delivery. deadpan may be the word for it. the topics were interesting but the style of delivery just did not really work for me. the last dude i was conflicted about. i really wanted him to be awesome so that we can end it on a high but... i think i spent up all my laughter on the first guy. ah well. common topics among the 3 comedians- masturbation, rape, weed/drugs plus a healthy dose of observational humor thrown in. i thought it was $30 well spent =)

jp randomly decided to go on a ferris wheel and i did not disagree. probably should have. confined spaces with dudes do not really work for me =S

overall, a decent way to spend a friday night.

the fighter

2011-03-22T23:32:00.000+11:00

starring mark wahlberg, christian bale, amy adams.... and i don't know who else. cinema nova. sunday. with jp.

the movie was funnier than i expected. but it wasn't as epic as i thought it would be. it moved along at a reasonable pace. the acting was good, especially christian bale's drug addict, so creepy, so pathetic, so believable. compared to ip man, this is really not that impressive. i was happy when micky won the title at the very end but it lacked the epicness that could be felt in the first ip man movie. maybe i'm just biased. it's not a bad movie, it just wasn't as good as i expected.

7/10.

the sonnet rises slowly

2011-03-13T16:02:00.005+11:00

it has been more than 3 months since my last post. between then and now, i
1. went to taiwan,
2. got rejected from cambridge (yet again!),
3. got placed on the waiting list for the melbourne scholarships,
4. got offered two jobs,
5. flew back to melbourne,
6. moved into a new place,
7. found out the person i thought (naively) would wait for me didn't,
8. got my scholarships,
9. agonised over phd projects and supervisors,
10. settled on a project which ultimately left me feeling brainless for the past month.

it has been a month since i started going back to the lab. and everyday i realize that honours did not prepare me for phd. somehow i can't learn what i need to learn fast enough, my mind can't comprehend new information and process them quickly enough and i am generally feeling in over my head. this is what i asked for. this is what i wanted. this is what i cried over when i thought the chance was out of reach. i can handle this. 3 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things. here's hoping my brain (and spine) can handle it.

referring to a different part of life, it has been 6 years. why have i not crawled out of the black hole i dug for myself. why the inability to be somewhat normal in this aspect of my life???

it goes on and on and on

2011-01-01T01:54:00.001+11:00

i to satisfy my itch to do a list, but not a list of resolutions (what's the point when you're only going to break them?), here's a top 10 movies of 2010 list, ranked according to how awesome i think it is.

1. how to train your dragon.
i smiled my way through this movie when i wasn't laughing out loud or awww-ing.

2. the social network. jesse eisenberg was awesome in this and the movie was fast-paced without being dumbed-down. who knew a movie somewhat related to facebook could be so freaking good?

3. the town.
it was good purely because i walked in reluctantly but came out feeling like i didn't waste 2 hours of my life. ok, that did it no justice. the movie was awesome in its own right.

4. the hurt locker
again, the lead, jeremy renner, was very very good in this role. the movie was gritty, raw and at times hard to watch nevertheless it was ah-may-zing.

5. tangled
watched this because there was simply nothing else to watch and it was awesome. reminded me of so many other disney princess tales but it was so modern as well. very very funny and re-watchable.

5. ip man 2.
it was the movie itself but also the crowd we watched it with. the whole cinema appreciated every joke and action sequence, which were good in their own right but the receptive audience made the experience that much more enjoyable.

6. iron man 2.
admittedly not as awesome as the first movie but robert downey jr. owned the role as iron man =)

7. scott pilgrim vs the world.
i did not actually review this movie. all i can say is that it is very funny. and fast-paced enough to sustain my interest even when i'm not really a comic fan =)

8. despicable me
i didn't want to watch this but was really bored so i took it off a friend. and laugh my ass off. adorable, smart and pee-in-your-pants-funny in some parts.

9. inception
this had to make the list, i suppose. it wasn't bad. i liked it. but i thought it was seriously over-rated. tried re-watching it but couldn't get through, ah well =S

10. the hangover
though not really from 2010, i watched it this year and it exceeded my expectations on so many levels. i could watch and re-watch this and still find it mind-blowingly funny and i don't usually like comedies to begin with XD

this year has been a steep learning curve. and like the years past, it has its ebbs and flows. it has overall been a not bad year. may the coming new year bring us all that we hope for and all that we worked for. may we be one step closer to finding ourselves and the path we're meant to walk on. here's to a great 2011, everyone =)

all i want for christmas

2010-12-25T03:49:00.001+11:00

this year we had a potluck for our christmas eve dinner. nothing big. just a gathering of a few family of relatives. it's still happening as i write this. when i was younger, we had a lot of gatherings. being socially awkward, they were a nightmare for me. after my brother passed away, we stopped hosting gatherings. according to mum, we only resumed hosting a couple of years back. christmas had always been traditionally hosted by our family as mum is the only christian in the family.

i guess i should get back to the dinner. i find that as you get older, it gets less acceptable to pull a moody teenage stunt like shutting yourself in your room with your earphones on at maximum volume.

i've always been scared to try

2010-12-08T12:17:00.002+11:00

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Introverted (I) 53.13% Extroverted (E) 46.88%

Sensing (S) 50% Intuitive (N) 50%

Thinking (T) 51.35% Feeling (F) 48.65%

Judging (J) 74.07% Perceiving (P) 25.93%

INTJ - "Scientist". Most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.

because i had a tie on the sensing and intuitive scale, it was either the 'scientist' or the 'guardian', as below.

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

personally, i prefer the scientist description although i have no idea what the difference between sensing and intuitive is. also, i prefer being rarified. heh. to those of you who're still keeping up with this blog, what do you think? and do you try to answer the questions on these kind of thing with the mindset of 'this is what i am supposed to say' or as you truly felt?

my results more than 5 years ago INTJ- The Mastermind

i wonder if being an introvert changes with age? by far my strongest trait is the 'judging' one. for those who know me quite well, that is hardly surprising >..<

i haven't slept in 2 days

2010-12-08T00:23:00.001+11:00

i lay awake and miss you
i'd send a postcard to you dear
'coz i wish you were here
i watch the night turn light blue
the silence isn't so bad
opposing new ways
cold nostalgia chills me
i'll sit on the front porch all night

when i think of you i don't feel so alone***

the world that i knew
i won't forget you
i'll whisper in your ear
i wish you were here

*** i don't agree, when you think of someone and you miss them, you'd actually feel more alone than when you're not thinking of them.

have not slept in the past 60 hours. apparently the brain shuts down after 88 hours. 28 more hours to go if i don't fall asleep tonight.

*snippets of vanilla twilight by owl city

what if i just

2010-12-04T20:12:00.004+11:00

i remember my first time playing pool, i was 17 going on 18 and far away from home for the very first time. the guys at the college took a stab at teaching me, then when i started dating sb, we would play pool when there was nothing else to do. after the uk, i think i play pool about once a year? it's safe to say i haven't improved much over the years. no natural talent for it. heh. for the life of me, sometimes, even when it is a straight shot, i would still miss.

i don't know why i suggested pool with dr. i mean, it was a surefire way to embarrass myself with my lack of skills. and dr was good. and he tried teaching me. but oh god, i was a lousy student. i never realized that so much innuendo can go into playing pool. this never occurred to the 18 year old me. balls and sticks. touching each others balls. it's like every second sentence that came out of our mouths was... i had to basically cut the word 'balls' out of my speech and say shots or something else.

i really like dr. pity i'll be leaving melbourne soon. i'm really interested in seeing how this plays out.

i was alright

2010-11-20T22:32:00.001+11:00

today was a good day. it was sunny, not too warm and the crowds flocked to the ample parks and laneways in the city. i met a friend near yarra river for coffee. i don't know this friend very well. he wondered whether this was a date. i told him it was a coffee meetup. hah.

about this friend, he is cute. and he reminded me a bit of an ex. but a more.... adventurous version. less nerdy? although they both liked hitchhikers guide, something i can never understand. after coffee he asked me what i wanted to do so i suggested we walk. and i think we spent 2 hours walking through the city and parks surrounding the city. when he suggested we stop for yet another coffee, i refused, when he suggested we sit on the steps and grass, i refused. i think i was trying to keep moving, which is really the state i'm most comfortable in when i'm with someone i don't really know, be it guy or girl. so we walked and talked. he probably thought i was nuts.

the problem is, he asked me whether he could smoke. i didn't know he smokes. and, well, i was torn between being polite and saying 'no, i don't mind' and saying what i really felt, which was 'hell, no don't smoke!' i ended up saying i do mind. and he acted ok about it. guess smokers are used to being reacted negatively to? am i discriminating smokers? everyone has the right to give themselves a chance of a slow torturous death from lung cancer but i also have the right to refuse being the inadvertent victim to their habits. and that is all i'll say about it. do it, when you're alone or with fellow smokers but don't be insulted if a non-smoker insists on not inhaling your secondhand smoke.

closer to where i started

2010-11-10T21:21:00.000+11:00

today was my last assessment- the final oral presentation. i was the first one up. for 20 minutes, i presented what i did for the last 10 months. and when i looked back at it, it was a whole lot of mice, a whole lot of hours and not to mention a couple of breakdowns and crisis of faith. i know. i am being melodramatic. all the time i tried to gauge my supervisor's reaction but she was covering her face with her hands *any other person doing this i would've freaked but this appeared to be her usual pose when she's listening to seminars and talks*

afterwards, she told me that she was impressed with how i spruced up my presentation. my post doc said she never gave such high praise to her students. and i wonder whether that is true. my supervisor also sent me an email with all of four words "well done. am impressed." my supervisor's never impressed. and i don't know how to take this. my other post doc suspects that it's because my supervisor wants me to stay in her lab for phd, that's why she's being so nice. hahahaha. that would explain a lot. either way i'm flattered although i don't think i have a chance in hell in getting that scholarship. *sigh*

on friday i'll have to hand in my access key. and shut down my computer accounts as well as pack up all my data for storage. then what?

he broke his own heart

2010-11-03T22:28:00.002+11:00

oral defense. no one told me how to act for this. was this supposed to be an interview? because if so, lots of marks would be deducted for my not so professional approach to defending my thesis.

when friends and worried fellow honours students *i was the first one to do my defense for the cohort* asked me how it went, i said... it went fast. and 15 minutes was fast. and i fielded questions from all 5 of my examiners, 15 questions in total so it was essentially 1 question/minute. did i answer the questions? i responded. which, in the grand scheme of things, is nothing like answering. i did not put on my a game. it was probably a b game.

i sat there, questions were asked as i talked my head off trying to sound like i know what i was talking about. the only question which truly stumped me then was, "why didn't you use x-test for you statistical analysis?" and honest to goodness i had no idea what test he was referring to so i said, " i didn't use x-test because i wasn't aware that such a test was available." bad move? how am i supposed to talk my way out of honestly not knowing that the test even existed?!?? my lab people don't use it. even my supervisors failed to mention the possibility of using it. blerh.

and when i was going over the whole thing in my head hours later, i thought, was i too insistent? was i too flippant? did i come across as arrogant? clueless? incompetent?

that's a whole 10 months of my life. in a culmination of a ten thousand word thesis, a 15 minutes defense and a 20 minute presentation *yet to come* and when you sum it up like that. it seems like a whole lot of time wasted for something that might or might not bring the field forward and might or might not be true a year later. harrowing thought. sad thought. but such is the life chosen by someone who, up till now, still has no idea if she's on the right path at all.

facebook me...

2010-11-02T22:53:00.001+11:00

the social network. 1.11.10 cinema nova with eb and cc.

starring: jesse eisenberg, andrew garfield (eduardo~~~) and justin-sexy back-timberlake and the very yummy winklevi XD

i know my taste in movies is somewhat pedestrian and i tend to get swayed a lot by rotten tomatoes ratings and critics reviews. but. i loved this film. possibly more than inception, which i'd watched but didn't review because, well, i thought it was overrated.

but this movie was freaking awesome. i've always been a sucker for movies with witty one liners *cue iron man!* and this one delivered those in spades as well as some freaking awesome-can-rival-greys-anatomy-monologues. i love a good rant. the fact is, it is an intelligent movie that just doesn't require you to think too much *ahem*inception*ahem*. it doesn't require you to do much but sit back and enjoy the ride as the movie just flows, seemingly effortlessly.

definitely one of the best movies i've seen this year.

let me in/the town/please give/after.life

2010-10-31T14:49:00.001+11:00

so after handing in my thesis last friday, i had this profound need to not do anything lab related despite the fact that i still have my oral defense *wednesday!!!* and oral presentation *wednesday after!!!!* so i decided to go on a movie binge

let me in monday 25.10.10 cinema nova

i didn't watch the original version of this film nor did i read the book. i did read the other book by the same author handling the undead and i found the book alternately creepy, boring and ultimately unsatisfying. but the original film and book let the right one in had great reviews and this remake also had favorable reviews so why not?

as usual, i won't go into the plot much as that is easily google-able and focus more on how i felt about the film. the tone of the film was bleak and subdued from the get go. the main protagonist/victim/human love interest/slave was owen (kodi smit mcphee). he was... a creepy creepy kid who spies on his neighbours and waves a knife in front of his reflection while, "are you afraid, little girl?" like some sort of fledging serial killer. turns out he was being bullied by the kids at his school and the bullying was hard to watch. i never knew guys get so violent at such a young age. is it an american thing or am i just very sheltered?

the vampire girl, abby (chloe moretz) is just your average lonely misunderstood vampire who needs blood to survive and not smell funny. personally, i found the bullying harder to watch than the killing of hapless victims by abby and her henchman/companion (richard jenkins). the relationship between abby and owen was touching at times yet disturbing. there were several scenes when i just couldn't figure out why abby couldn't be bothered to wipe the blood off her chin.

was it a good movie? well, if it aims to dispel the twilight sheen of vampire lore, it succeeded. but i think that is largely thanks to the novel itself. it certainly succeeded in creating a feeling of unease and suspense. so, yes, i suppose it is a good movie. would i rewatch it? no. it's not something i'd rewatch as it's just too sad and depressing. for me anyway.

the town 29.10.10 hoyts with wy and mk

i didn't want to watch this film. never really a fan of heist movies and never really considered myself a fan of ben affleck's. but wy wanted to watch it. and i wanted to skip lab. and it has rave reviews, so why not?

and i loved the film, from start to end. some reasons for loving the film. 1. i loved hating the sociopathic jem (jeremy renner, so freaking awesome in the hurt locker and so freaking awesome here). 2. claire (rebecca hall), such an interesting character, so strong yet fragile at the same time. 3. the dialogue. coarse but straight to the point. would i survive in a world like this? definitely not. did i approve of the bank robbers? duh, no. did i love it that ben affleck's reformed doug mcray got away in the end. hell yes.

would i rewatch this? yes. was it good, an rt 95% certified fresh rating, need i say more? although, wy thought it was boring and mk thought it was average so i guess it's to each their own. if you're looking for high octane action, this might not be high octane enough. if you're looking for good guys triumph over bad, it's not that clear cut in the film. but it's a clever film with like-able characters, great actors and a great slab of gray between the black and whites.

please give 30.10.10 home

the opening scenes nearly made me throw up my lunch. no it wasn't gore. it was boobs. off all sizes and shapes. and being female. you'd have think that such an averse reaction would not occur. but omg. stop plopping the boobs on the radiology machine!!!

thank goodness after that it was fairly normal. nearly 5 years ago, i watched a film by the same director friends with money and i hated the film for its meandering pace and lack-of-ambition protagonist. 5 years later, a similar film. not as meandering but still. i did not love it. are the themes too adult? mid-life crisis, existential crisis, death, profiting from death, angsty teen and extramarital affairs. too serious topics even if the execution is meant to be comedic. i can't relate and i don't want to relate. maybe it's because i fear my life would turn out the same. but no. i don't like this film. even if it has good reviews.

after.life 30.10.10 home

talking about meandering. this film is all about the meandering. is she dead? is she alive? is he psychic? is he a serial killer? why does christina ricci always play creepy/dead characters? why is she always nearly naked. i get it that she has a hot body but what it the point? halfway through the show, i really couldn't give a sh*t anymore. meh.

living on a loaded gun

2010-09-18T17:01:00.002+10:00

this is the first time in weeks, 3 weeks by the load of my laundry, that i have an actual weekend off. well, a saturday off anyway. am duty bound to get back to lab tomorrow to finish off the last of my knockout mice experiments. i cannot wait for honours to end. they weren't kidding when they say this is the most stressful academic year we'll ever experience.

mum bought the bag!!! she went to pavillion to try to get it but it was sold out. then she tried gardens. no luck there as well. the very helpful sales assistant at gardens offered to call the outlet at bangsar village and there was one there. so, mum went to 3 different shopping complexes to get me my bag >.< i feel so bad! i cannot believe she went through so much trouble. apparently there's only 10 bags of the same model in the whole of malaysia O_o

in the meantime, the bag i ordered online arrived. when i first saw it i was severely disappointed. it was crumpled and not very attractive. then when i hung it on my bag stand later that night i began to take to it. it's very different from anything i'd owned before but my mandate nowadays is to get the most unique item i can find so that worked out beautifully. am happy with the purchase =)

ah, stress causes me to make rash decisions when it comes to shopping. since i have no time to do it in real life, i'd taken to online shopping like fish to water. the discovery that nordstrom ships to australia did not help. i just blew AUD$300 on 3 pairs of shoes today >.< i suppose spending more time in the lab would be better for me financially if not mentally. arrrgggghh, i want honours to end =(

my world will stop spinning

2010-09-06T00:42:00.001+10:00

when i was back home, i told my mum i wanted a new bag, specifically a genuine leather one. preferably not made in china. and my mum said as long as it's below rm500, she'd give it to me as a birthday present. predictably, we couldn't find any that fit the criteria, though not for lack of trying. my mum, to her credit, accompanied me throughout both sunway and pavillion searching for 'the bag'.

there was one that looked like it could be it, from massimo dutti. most of their bags are made in spain or somewhere else in europe and they have quite a few leather goods. the one that i saw was on the display cabinet, which was unfortunately sold out. for some reason, both shops i'd visited couldn't let me even have a look at the bag in the display cabinet, which was really, really weird, not to mention annoying.

as i wouldn't be there when they bring in the new stock, mum offered to go and check it out for me. considering the fact that the bag was quite a few hundred bucks above the figure mum gave me, fingers crossed that that means the birthday present offer still stands =P

in the meantime, i bought this bag off the internet. it looked great virtually, will update on how it is in real life when i get it, hopefully by the end of the week =)

i miss mum...... guess that's what happens when i'm sick for the whole week since i got back =S

ip man 2

2010-05-14T22:06:00.001+10:00

starring donnie yen, sammu hong etc. with jy at melb central.

ip man was probably the only asian film that blew my mind. it was funny, it was action packed and it tugged at the heartstrings at the appropriate moments. like robert downey jr is to iron man, donnie yen is the reason why i loved the first movie. and the second film did not disappoint.

you know you're in for a ride when the first few minutes of the film elicited laughs from the audience. and throughout the whole thing, bursts of applause broke out in the theatre. ip man is an action film that manages to balance the drama and the comedy. throw in a healthy dose of patriotism and you can elicit a response from any viewer who is chinese in any way. it helps that the british were portrayed as ass-holey as is possible.

memorable fight sequences would include the fight with all the masters of the different kung fu schools *i am biased but the way ip man jumped onto the table with no fanfare, just a man at ease with his ability was super awesome*, sammu hong's last fight *it was sort of predictable that he was gonna die though* and of course, the fight between ip man and the twister *who is really the steroid-fueled embodiment of everything that was wrong with 'foreign devils'. of course we knew ip man was gonna survive, who else could make bruce lee an international action star?*.

with all the awesome fighting that's going on, the film manages to squeeze in quite a substantial amount of humour, which is great as it breaks the tension. and what is great is that they kept the fighting serious and found humour elsewhere unlike some other films *cough*jackie chan*cough*. and thank god they are not slapstick humour as well but i guess in the wrong audience, most of the jokes would fall flat as you have to at least be acquainted to the language and the culture and so much gets lost in translation.

conversely, i think the drama mostly stems from the fights. i find myself not being able to care about ip man's family but his despair at finding his friend brain damaged and a beggar broke my heart a little. donnie yen is awesome in this role. he balances his martial superiority perfectly with his humility and desire to uphold the principles of his craft. the theme of chinese patriotism was carried through from the fist film, instead of the japanese, we have the british. it was sort of obvious that most of the chinese characters who served the 'enemy' were going to switch sides. however, i was impressed by the newspaper editor-in-chief's character *can't remember his name*, mostly because i had no expectations but his character had more spine than i'd thought, which was a pleasant surprise.

in conclusion, ip man 2 was awesome and imo was somewhat better than iron man 2 in living up to my expectations.

iron man 2

2010-05-07T16:07:00.001+10:00

starring robert downey jr, gwyneth paltrow, scarlett johansson, mickey rourke, don cheadle, samuel l jackson....iron man was a particularly good movie for me so i had reasonably high expectations for the sequel. i watched this on tuesday with wy, le, sy, mk, ln and ji.

i was a bit worried as a friend told me that iron man 2 had not that great reviews. i am happy to say that the movie did not really disappoint me. that much. haha. when the first one was so great for me, i guess it's difficult to not be disappointed slightly by this offering. there was still loads of witty one-liners and i seriously believe that this is one of those more intelligent action films. the acting was great. robert downey jr is such a great actor. i usually do not like scarlett johansson's characters but her black widow was so, so hot.

admittedly, the whole reason for the villain was a bit far fetched. so the guy's dad got deported because he deserved it and now the son wants revenge? seriously? could they not come up with a better reason for the emergence of a new villain? or a better, more solid reason for this hell bent need for revenge?

that said, i still think the action scenes were awesome. way way better than the confusion of clashing metals that was transformers 2. i had goosebumps when tony stark discovered a new element and plugged it into his body. i half expected him to keel over and die. and i know that we are probably decades away from the technology he had but wouldn't it be awesome to play around with his jarvis technology? all the cool 3D and lighting. you don't have to do much with it, just switch it on and pretend you're in outer space.

good movie. i like it, although i will be a bit wary of iron man 3 if it continues on the slight, slight downward trend.

another sequel of a 'man' that i really like, ip man 2!! hopefully will get to watch it in the coming weeks. i hope it doesn't disappoint, the first one was awesome =)

waking up all empty

2010-05-03T22:55:00.000+10:00

it is no news that i have a very obsessive personality. the current trend of concert-whoring is perhaps the best example. i always wonder, if i ever pick up a vice, like drinking alone or smoking, i would probably overdose in the first few weeks.

the current obsession is baking. i had been baking the whole weekend, and today after labs, i baked again. the cake turned out quite well despite all the variations i threw in from the 2 original recipes this came from, which is why i'm putting this recipe down. one of these days i really should stick to someone else's recipe and see how it turns out.

Coffee and apple cake
11/2 cups self raising flour
1/2 cup muesli mix
less than 1 cup sugar
2/3 cup of butter mixed with olive oil and yoghurt *sort of my personal pseudo-butter substitute*
1/2 cup milk
3 eggs
2 tsp instant coffee with 1 tbsp hot water *i really think 3-4 tsp of coffee would make it so much better*
1/2 tsp vanilla essence
2 small apples, peeled and sliced

preheat oven 140 degC. pour in half the mixture, arrange sliced apples on top and squeeze honey all over the apples. pour in the rest of the mixture. bake for ~90 minutes.

i think it will also work well in muffin tins although it might be a bit fiddly with the half/half thing.

all the more you need

2010-05-02T18:10:00.002+10:00

this had been a lazy weekend. with nothing much to do, i took to baking on both saturday and sunday.

saturday

sticky orange cake
2 cups self raising flour
0.9 cup caster sugar
0.8 cup butter
3 tbsp milk
2 tbsp yoghurt
2 eggs
1 large orange (grated)
baked for 40-45 min at 180 degC.
topping: 3/4 cup caster sugar and juice of orange (heated)
topping was poured all over cake, which was poked full of holes.

swedish chocolate cake
2 eggs
11/3 cups sugar *sugar could be 1/3 cup less, the cake was way too sweet imo*
1/2 cup flour
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter
4 tbsp unsweetened cocoa
1 tbsp vanilla extract
baked at 176 degC for 35min

sunday

butter cookie-scone
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup yoghurt
1/2 cup sugar *should have put more, they were a bit bland*
1 egg
11/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup oats
11/2 cups flour

1/3 of the mixture i added 2 tsp cocoa powder, liberal amounts of chili flakes, a pinch of salt and choc flakes *this was a bit bland, perhaps cocoa powder can be substituted with some really rich chocolates*
1/3 was added with 2 tea bags of lemon and ginger *this could use more zing, actual lemon and ginger might be a good idea*
1/3 was added with coffee syrup and granulated coffee and 1/2 cup muesli mix

baked for around 20 min (depending on thickness) at 204 degC. the only variation that really worked was the coffee-flavored one although, i think more coffee could be added in.

i gave the saturday batch away to friends as soon as i'd baked them to prevent me pigging out. today's batch i will give to friends i'm having dinner with, again, with the selfish reason of me not wanting to pig out. heh.

was surfing the net i.e. wasting time on youtube when i came across this:

switchfoot concert

switchfoot concert 2

the girl right below jon foreman in red, that's me! hahahaha. am ridiculously pleased to have found these 2 videos.

hello hurricane

2010-04-23T10:11:00.006+10:00

switchfoot concert. 22/04/10. with ds.

so before i knew they were playing in melbourne, i had less than 5 switchfoot songs in my itunes. i knew of their concert less than 2 weeks before the concert itself *cue frantic downloading and acclimatizing to their songs and cajoling people to go*. alas, i fell in love with their songs but no one else had a clue or were interested enough to go. 3 days before the actual show, i bought my ticket, thinking i'll suck it up and go myself. a day before the show, started facebook messaging random people on my friends list because i didn't think i could do it alone *major failz*. then i saw ds's name, this was the boy who was supposed to go to pink's concert with me last year but we couldn't get tickets to her sold-out shows. he said yes. yay!!

ds was there early, he insisted if i had been early as well, we could've gotten right in front of the stage. as it is, we ended up standing at this divider bar bench thing that divides the pit to the dance floor. which was a good spot to see the stage unimpeded as we were the first people on the slightly more elevated space but a bad place if you want to jump with the crowd because of the said bench thing.

the opening act was dead actors club. so. much. better. than semi-precious weapons, the gaga opening act. so much hotter as well. their music is not something i'll listen to on a daily basis, but if i were to go to a gig, this would be the kind that i'll like. the abundance of eye candy didn't hurt as well. all the members were well-built and decent-looking =D.

when the members of switchfoot came on stage, someone decided to climb on the bench right in front of us. the thought going through my head was, 'isn't it too early in the show to be that high?' i turned over, saw jon foreman right in front of me with the opening lines of 'needle and haystack life', started screaming like a mad woman and frantically trying to snap photos as proof. lousy camera did no justice so i switched over to recording mode. he was on our bench for a whole minute if not more before moving through the mosh pit crowd a claiming center stage.

they performed songs from the whole 'hello hurricane' album. it was amazing. there were a few songs that i wasn't familiar with but the crowd make that not seem to matter. of course the highlight of the show for me was when my favorites were played- 'your love is a song', 'always', 'awakening', 'yet'.

there was absolutely no gaps in between each song, those guys were that good. after finishing their whole album with 'red eyes', they launched into 'stars'. the people in the mosh pit started jumping, ds and i really wanted to jump but it was so awkward with our position so we made do with pumping our fists in the air and screaming. heh.

'oh! gravity', 'twenty four', 'learning to breathe', 'this is home' and finally, 'meant to live', which really got the crowd wild. then they left the stage. of course the crowd wanted more and before long we started singing 'oh oh oh' from the openings of 'hello hurricane'. and band came back on, singing 'this is your life', another one of my favourites. and jon started moving down the side of the stage, moving through the edge of the crowd to climb again on the bench top in front of us! ok, if i sound really excited about this, it's because it really is exciting. this is way closer than most of the people at the front of the stage or the mosh pit could get to him.

then he moved to the divider at the other side of the crowd. it was so cool that the whole crowd just swiveled to where he stood in the middle of the space, balanced precariously on a bench thing and singing 'dare you to move'. the band playing on stage was sadly ignored but i guess they had to get used to this sort of thing happening.

he says they'll be back in january. if i'm here, i'll probably go again. yes, it was that good. and i have post concert depression now >.<

there's always something

2010-04-22T10:57:00.000+10:00

i hate the way my project is structured. everything, and i do mean everything, depends on my mice getting pregnant. if none of them are pregnant, i can have weeks of nothing to do. and when one of them gets pregnant, there's always the issue of too many people using the FACs machine and it's against the rule for too many people from the same lab booking too many time slots. BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING ANYTHING FOR MY PROJECT FOR THE PAST FREAKING WEEK!!! i only have a year to do this thing, at least have the courtesy to allow me one pathetic experiment a week to justify my $30k school fees excluding living costs. seriously! arrggh.

monster ball - lady gaga

2010-04-10T22:33:00.002+10:00

starring lady gaga. 090410. rod laver arena. with eb. so all my photos *very blurred ones =S* are on facebook and there are a few commentaries on them already but i thought i should give the event a post it deserves.

left lab at 4pm to catch dinner before the show. had dinner with eb at animal orchestra, which is near both our places. turned out to be a good thing as eb, being uncharacteristically blur, left her tix at home. had jl bring it down for us. trammed down to rod laver on special tram filled with little monsters and very loud planetshaker people *there happened to be a christian rock concert happening on the same day. haha, the irony*

at 6.30pm it looked like there was not a lot of people. opening act was supposed to come on at 7pm. the standing area, which is where we're at, did not look that full and the seating area was disturbingly empty. opening act was semi-precious weapons, part rock and roll part drag show and a whole heap of expletives. the beat was good, the lyrics not so much and the singer, well, the singer was just plain weird. i think the opening act lasted for around half an hour but the damage to my ears, i couldn't hear anything very clearly for the next 40 minutes or so.

we spent nearly one and a half hours listening to michael jackson, wondering if lady gaga was ever going to show up. everytime there's a lull in the music the fans will cheer, i guess we hoped to induce her appearance. some attempted to chant her name but couldn't sustain the chant for long. some very bored fans in the seats *by this time it was pretty filled up* decided to do a wave and the wave continued for quite a few rounds around the arena. it was pretty entertaining to watch.

at around 9.15pm, finally! respite from mj. the lights went off and a screen dropped down and the opening beats of 'dance in the dark' came on. cue for the crowd to go wild. more screams when lady gaga finally appeared. cameras started appearing in front of us, the crowd surged forward a bit, bringing me and eb slightly closer to the stage. wave hands in air screaming along to the lyrics. snap a few shots. song upon song came on. there was hardly any intermission and the flow between each song was seamless. even when she had to do an outfit change the band and the projector along with the insistent beat of her music made it seemed as if there was no pause at all.

predictably, the crowd went wild with all her hits, 'just dance', 'love game', 'paparazzi', 'poker face' and the closing number, 'bad romance'. i loved 'speechless' although it was clear that most of the people present were not really familiar with it. 'boys boys boys' had all the male hot dancers gyrating the heck out on stage. a super hot one in middle stage, which is closest to where we were standing, holy smokes, the abs on that man =S. the crowds were more willing to jump and wave towards the end, guess they need time to warm up, so 'alejandro' was surprisingly jump-and-scream-inducing eventhough i wasn't aware of it being a popular single. the crowd definitely went wild during 'bad romance'. although the 'monster hands' already made some appearances in the other songs, they really came out in full force during the closing number. claws waved to the beat of the song and we jumped like obedient zombies when she asked us to jump.

with the crowd so worked up, it was really, really surprising that no one asked for an encore. at 11 pm, we just dispersed after she left the stage and eb and i were standing there wondering what the heck was that? no demands for encore? is gaga ever gonna come back to melbourne after that happened?

as tram was jam packed, most of us opted to walk to the city. it shouldn't be a long trek but more than four hours of standing in heeled boots, jumping in them and dancing in them, my feet, well my feet just didn't feel like mine anymore. every step was an agony and i was thirsty as hell. bought green tea milk tea at ten ren then trammed home. got flats from eb for my short walk home from her place because my feet refuses to walk another pace in the boots.

somehow went into the wrong building *they all look the same!!* went to the unit i thought was mine and slotted my key in. even when i saw an extra lock on the door, i never thought it was not my door, i just thought my housemate installed a new lock without telling me. tried my key, could not get the door to open. realized a bit too late that i was at the wrong door =.='''''' tried to sneak away but the poor owner of the house opened the door and all i could do was sheepishly say i'm sorry before scurrying away. he probably thought i was crazy/drunk/dared to do this.

got home, showered, uploaded photo. was high so could not sleep. crawled into bed at 3am. it was a good night. i had a good scream. i had a good dance. my ears were satisfyingly deaf. my throat was decidedly parched and my feet, well, my feet just wanted to not be stuffed into anything that's heeled for quite a while. but it was all good. GAGA!

where i belong to

2010-04-05T22:58:00.001+10:00

looking back at the past few posts, they have all been about recounting movies i'd seen, events i'd been and food i'd eaten. apart from some random spattering of verses from songs i happen to relate very deeply to at the time, it seems that most of my neuroses i have managed to compartmentalize into the other blog. 'cause nobody needs a whole lot of crazy all the time. if only the same is true in reality. hah.

dragons and titans

2010-04-03T23:36:00.001+11:00

with chin chin.

12.00pm: how to train your dragon (3d) - at imax melbourne.

the trailer got me. that dragon thing looked so much like stitch from 'lilo and stitch' that i just couldn't resist it. and then i read the reviews on rotten tomatoes *yes, i know i refer to it a lot but i hate going in on a badly reviewed movie, it dampens the whole experience for me* and it had a 97 or 98 rating so i had to go. i know, marks and all shouldn't really matter so much to me now but you can't change the way your brain works.

the imax theatre we were at was supposedly the 3rd largest screen in the world, it was 7 storey high, if the publicity was to be believed. this was my first feature film 3D experience so was really excited yet afraid to be disappointed.

the film was great from the get go. the jokes were funny. the lead character was not annoying. the training scenes between toothless and hiccup were so, so well-done. very little talking, a lot of body language. the plot was sort of not new. but the execution was impeccable. there were no annoying characters and there was really no lull in the whole show. every minute was filled with something, if not the awesome cuteness of the pairing between toothless and hiccup, it was the interactions between the other characters. the 3D enhanced the experience although some scenes were blurry and i had no idea whether that was intended or not.

i walked out of the film smiling. it reached my expectations and then more. i want my own dragon!! haha.

we bought our tickets for titans after that at melbourne central. the 4.30pm show. which leaves us ample time for lunch. which we both need, well, i needed it, i was starving by 2pm.

trekked to cumulus inc at 45 flinders lane.

chin chin and i shared a plate of cured meats and a rocket salad. the prosciutto and wagyu were divine whereas the candied walnuts in the salad was a nice touch.

after that, we had dessert. chin chin ordered the rum baba, which i'd read was good on a food blog. they give you a bottle of rum with it so you can pour according to taste. am not a fan of rum so actually liked the dish better with just a slight hint of rum. the pastry, i think it's a brioche, was so light and fluffy and it went so well with the vanilla creme.

i ordered the steamed chocolate pudding with hazelnut creme and orange liquer ice cream. omg. the smoothest, richest chocolate pudding ever. eaten with either the creme or the ice cream is divine but i like to combine all three in one heavenly bite. the nom.

after that we just had enough time to walk back to melbourne central and catch our next movie.

4.30pm: clash of the titans- hoyts, melbourne central.

this film i had no idea about. chin chin wanted to watch it and i thought it's the least i can do after dragging her to dragons *which she loved as well, thank god* so i went in with no expectations.

when it started and i figured out it has something to do with greek mythology, i was all in. had been very into greek mythology at one point in my life so at least i knew the background for most of the characters. the plot was brisk. the special effects were.... well, what we have grown to expect. the acting was campy at times. reminded me so much of the old films i was forced to watch when i took my mad emperor's module. i fully expected this to be a film that takes itself too seriously but it's obvious that this was intended as a fun film. there were funny moments and there were moments where the monsters creeped me out. the audience were fairly responsive, which enhanced the cinematic experience for me. i really do feed off other people's vibe when i go to the movies, a dead crowd makes me like a movie less =S

i have no idea who most of the actors are even though their faces were oh-so-familiar. sam worthington's the male lead and i get that voldermort's hades but i can't for the life of me remember his name at the time. ralph fiennes. hah, just wiki-ed that. anyhoo. i didn't think i wasted my slightly below 2 hours on this. it was good. in a 2012-brainless kind of way.

cutler and co.

2010-04-02T23:15:00.002+11:00

with cc, eb, if.

meal price: $75. value: i won't say priceless but, omg the food was good.

had wanted to try out some better dining places for a long, long time and finally had some *cough* financial means to do it so suggested cutler and co to eb a few weeks ago. dragged the guys along so we can sample more dishes.

cc, eb and i ordered pre-dinner cocktails. can't remember what they were but they were yum.

i booked for 8.30pm, we were there early but still had to wait until around 8.40pm to get a table. by then, we were all starving so we decided fairly quickly on what we wanted.

i ordered the john dory with prawns. by far the best fish i've tried in melbourne. it even beat the one i had with mum last year at crown.

eb ordered the suckling pig. to be honest, it tasted pretty much like what we get in better chinese restaurants but the crispy skin was really good.

cc ordered the snapper with clams. couldn't help comparing his fish with mine, and seriously, mine came out tops. the texture of the snapper really couldn't beat the john dory although his sauce was pretty funky.

if ordered the baby chicken. i thought that it tasted a lot like, well, fried chicken. although if did say that the combination of flavors were good and he did look like he got his money's worth in quantity.

and on to the dessert. salted caramel is the chef's trademark and i came in fully intent on trying it but ended up ordering a dish with raspberries, banana sorbet and coffee cake. very deconstructed, very, very yummy. cc ordered the same thing.

eb ordered sheep's yoghurt with seasoned olives and coconut sorbet. weird combination but it sort of works. loved the sheep's yoghurt, don't quite like the coconut sorbet. loved the presentation though, so pretty.

if decided to test the hype and ordered the only dessert with salted caramel. very rich chocolate sorbet on top of an ice cream sandwich surrounded by the salted caramel. i only tried a bit of the ice cream sandwich but if was really pleased with his choice even though it was not much to look at.

did i mention the toilets were super cool? each cubicle had its own sink and aesop hand wash and hand balm. i know it sounded like nothing but you sort of have to be there to appreciate it. all in all, a good meal.

Australian Grand Prix 2010

2010-03-28T22:22:00.001+11:00

28/03/10, albert park with yx.

arrived at the venue around 2.00pm. walked around albert park looking at the various exhibits and checking out the surroundings whilst making our way to the spot we were told was good, turn 2. there was already tons of people as other races were happening throughout the day. managed to squeeze into a spot for the both of us that allowed some view of the track and the widescreen tv.

3.30pm was the driver's parade. alonsoooooo. haha. we were standing in a crowd of very patriotic aussies. almost everyone was cheering for the local hero, mark webber. thank god alonso's now with ferrari, with ferrari's bigger fan base at least i wasn't as out of place cheering for him >.<

some aeronautical displays by the aussie military and qantas before the race at 5.00pm. red bull was in the top 2 qualifying positions- vettel and webber. ferrari took the 3rd and 4th spot- alonso and massa.

it was drizzling before the start of the race. drama even at the first lap when alonso spun, almost killing his chance in the race, knocking button (mclaren-merc) and poor, unlucky schumacher (merc-petronas). i had no idea how button recovered so quickly while alonso and schumacher had to claw their way back. whilst everyone else was rooting for webber to pull ahead i kept cursing the drivers ahead of alonso, hoping that each and everyone of them would crash or something to give him some chance of a podium finish.

vettel crashed giving button the lead. webber bumbled out of the top 3 whilst kubica (renault) somehow sneaked past everyone into second spot, which was kinda cool (still some remnant sense of support for renault due to alonso eventhough everything about the team had changed). massa and alonso managed to hold on to 3rd and 4th place, which was really, really good considering alonso was third last after the spin (again, bad bad move).

considering the fact that i haven't been folowing formula 1 for years now, this race was definitely the one to get me back on the wagon. it was exciting with so much drama and so much history between the top drivers. was really glad yx suggested going for this.

http://formulaone.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/button-wins-wild-australian-grand-prix/

alice in wonderland

2010-03-07T15:48:00.003+11:00

starring mia wasikowska, johnny depp, helena bonham carter, anne hathaway......

i didn't want to watch alice at first. cinema nova was gonna show it and if i had been even the slightest bit interested i would've gone and watched it myself on monday. but everyone else decided to make an outing of it. so i went along yesterday after getting my lady gaga tickets from a scalper ebay seller in the morning. i know, it's sad that i still fall for the group pressure thing.

it started off bad because c had to go and piss me off again for no apparent reason. he is very annoying sometimes and his cattiness just hits at the most random instances. and throughout the film, i kept smelling whiffs of really foul bad breath coming from somewhere close to me. i have no idea where but omg it stank. and to top it off, during the last few minutes of the film, the sound system went wonkers, little did we know that it was because there was a i-know-it-shouldn't-be-cool-it's-terrible hailstorm happening right outside and people everywhere were thinking '2012'!

but i digress, this is after all, supposed to be a movie review and i shall try to make it seem like one as much as i can. nothing surprising of johnny depp's turn as the mad hatter, i can see elements of jack sparrow peeking through now and then, almost too often, so i wasn't really impressed. helena bonham carter was.... creepily funny in a sad, sad why-don't-they-like-me? way. anne hathaway just looked ridiculous with her hands up on both sides like a candle holder. i did like the caterpillar and especially loved the cheshire cat *hugs*. the actress who played alice did make the character quite likable, she reminds me a bit of gwyneth paltrow, perhaps the physical resemblance, hmm...

all in all, the film was quite whimsical, but then that is to be expected as the story was whimsical to begin with. there were no surprises. i wasn't overly impressed although the film did not suck. it was... decent, i suppose.

when we came out, it was 'thunderstorming' outside. not quite the wild kind you get in malaysia but considering the fact that melbourne doesn't exactly have an adequate drainage system, the hailstorm wrecked havoc on building roofs and there were leaks everywhere, crowds were filing in from all entries, it was all quite dramatic. none of the smart humans brought an umbrella, except for me. continuing on the persona of being the sad human who sometimes likes to stick in a group, i tagged along as we witnessed areas closed to public and buckets underneath leaks inside the shopping complex. the ground floor was sort of flooded and outside there were leaves covering the ground. it was all quite surreal. we took refuge in san churros, drank hot chocolate and shared churros waiting for the rain to subside.

it was an interesting day. was supposed to attend a fig party today. considering the fact that i did not take figs back from the lab and hence have nothing to contribute to the party, i shall not go. so today i shall rot at home.

crazy heart

2010-03-02T20:44:00.000+11:00

starring jeff bridges, maggie gyllenhaal, colin farrell....

this movie was nowhere near as blockbuster *well, as blockbuster as cinema nova can get* as the hurt locker. it had a niche audience, namely those above a certain age and a few stragglers, young women dragging their dates and me. hah. the only reason i could think of for me to want to watch this film was because, well, i like it's soundtrack. i have no idea who the hell jeff bridges or any of the other actors are apart from maggie gyllenhaal. heck, i didn't even know colin farrell was in it.

the main character, bad blake, reminds me a lot of my dad. the drinking and the smoking and the overall haggard appearance. it made it hard for me to watch him degenerate/disintegrate, mostly because it hit so close to home. which is probably why it was also disturbing for me to watch the intimate scenes between him and maggie gyllenhaal's character, jean craddock, who is more than 2 decades younger. eewww.

but the main reason i went was for the songs. and, well, i am a bit of a country fan, not the heehaw kind but, you know, things with a good hook and relatable lyrics. so the music was quite good. the oscar nominated song, the weary kind by ryan bingham, had been playing on my itunes for weeks and i was pleasantly surprised by colin farrell's version of it. not the kind of voice i would fall in love with but a decent one nevertheless. that said, ryan bingham's version still trumps over it. heh.

mixed feelings about this one.

road that's leading nowhere

2010-02-27T12:37:00.002+11:00

no one knows where we're from,
perhaps somewhere in between,
this is a place where i was free,
and i needed it,
but you're nowhere near to me.

things on the doorstep,
and there's no way around it,
you can't remember our last dance,
but do you want to see it?
there's no one here but me.

tomorrow will find you,
you have to let the light shine,
we're on the road that's leading nowhere,
and this will be our last dance,
but we'll be back again.

*twenty year- augustana

daybreakers/the hurt locker

2010-02-22T22:41:00.002+11:00

19/2/2010- melbourne central with jy right after labs.

daybreakers

i realized it's a kooky choice but the film sort of passed the rotten tomatoes litmus test so i thought i'd give it a try. didn't draw a lot of people on a friday night; mostly friends, very few couples. ethan hawke does not make a very convincing vampire. but then again, he is supposed to be a very reluctant bloodsucker. the movie was alright. at least the vamps in this movie didn't sparkle under sunlight but burst into balls of fire, which was cool. there was a satisfying amount of gore *the vamp trial for a blood substitute elicited a yelp/squeal out of me. haha* the subsiders- vamps which'd degenerated due to blood starvation- were pretty.... err... they reminded me a lot of creatures from other horror films i.e. i am legend, and some other human carnivore/cave dwelling-type-of-thing. yes, i do watch more than my fair share of horror films. heh. as a whole, wouldn't be something i'd rewatch, would probably be something that i would forget i'd watched >.<

22/2/2010- cinema nova, alone. there are merits of watching movies alone- no need for chatter and commentary, no need to worry that you'd dragged another person into a show that really only you want to watch ^.^

the hurt locker

this one had very impressive reviews, 97% ratings on rt, 9 oscar noms and winner of some international film festivals. makes sense that i'd be tempted to watch it. was a full house, not surprising for a monday night at cinema nova, and there were all sorts of people but mostly guys 'coz it did market itself as a hardcore war film. one word that sprang to mind when watching the film- gritty. it was so gritty that i could feel the sand between my teeth and had to drink lots of water to wash away the feeling. then there was this voice at the back of my head man, homosexual activity must be rampant in military camps. because i swear, during the mock fight scene....anyway. err, the movie was good in the sense that it felt, i wouldn't say real because i have no idea what's actually real in terms of war conditions and all, but really... down to earth? no over the top special effects, it almost had a sort of documentary-like feel. i had to keep reminding myself that this was a work of fiction. would i recommend the film to friends? not the way i would recommend avatar because this wouldn't really be everyone's cup of tea; not quite an action film but definitely very male, i would think.

will be looking forward to watching brothers and possibly crazy heart in the coming weeks. double whammy for the talented gyllenhaal siblings =)

nine/up in the air

2010-02-01T22:25:00.001+11:00

today was the first day of my honours orientation. was mildly surprised to see a few familiar faces amongst my cohorts; people i've seen around but never really spoken to before. orientation started at 9.00am and ended an hour earlier than expected at 3.00pm. today being a monday, i decided to check out the session times at cinema nova as they have cheap tix on mondays. i arranged the times so that i have time to go home for a nap before seeing the second movie.

3.40pm nine
starring daniel day lewis, marion cotillard, penelope cruz, nicole kidman, kate hudson, fergie, judi dench and sophia loren.
despite reading unfavorable reviews, i still wanted to see the film, mostly because i already have a few of their songs playing on itunes in my mac and ipod on repeat. i loved marion cotillard's songs the most although kate hudson and nicole kidman did pretty good jobs on their songs. fergie probably had the strongest singing voice, no surprise as that's what she does for a living.
the film was... not as bad as i thought it would be. yes, the jumps between the imagined and real sequences are a bit choppy and it is a pretty flimsy plot revolving around beautiful women and contini but the star power of the cast really blankets over most of the holes in the film. they're all pleasant to look at and everyone had a decent singing voice. overall, perhaps a 6/10 for me although there were some members of the audience who enjoyed it enough to clap at the end.

7.30pm up in the air
starring george clooney, vera farmiga, anna kendrick, jason bateman, chris lowell.....
this one had really great reviews. it first caught my attention when i was watching the live telecast of the golden globes although i had no idea what the film was about. i have never been a fan of george clooney. whilst i'm sure that he is a great actor and all, i just don't see what all the hype about his person and his looks are about. that said, he did give a really good performance here, enough to entice me to see his other film, the men who stare at goats. also, both vera farmiga and anna kendrick were superb in their roles and i loved the way they delivered their lines.
the idea of living life in transit seemed quite appealing to me; no need to form unnecessary connections and lug around excess baggage. although i suppose after awhile it does get a bit pointless, as our protagonist ryan bingham discovered. guess you can't have everything in life.

so herein ends my life in transit as i almost officially start uni again. ww went of on a day trip to phillip island today by herself. am happy to find that there will be no orientation tomorrow so i can spend her last day at melbourne with her although part of me still wishes that i am flying home tomorrow too.

sherlock holmes/avatar/bodyguards and assassins

2009-12-30T01:50:00.005+11:00

movie escapades since i came back =)

25/12/2009- 1 utama with fish
sherlock holmes
i'd wanted to watch avatar but fish had already told another friend they'd watch it together so i settled for robert downey jr. and jude law. it was a pretty good movie. i can totally see the resemblance between holmes/watson and house/wilson from house. the dynamic is there and i am pleasantly surprised with jude law's watson. this isn't something i'd watch twice but i'd definitely be keen on a sequel, if ever there is one to be made.

28/12/2009- mid valley with wy. my first time driving all the way to almost kl. nerve-wracking!
avatar
admittedly, i sort of dragged wy to watch this with me. she'd already said she didn't like pocahontas and i knew the plot for this was somewhat similar but i dragged her to it anyway >.< i loved the show. the special effects were damn cool and the action sequence were pretty nice. i would've liked the film a thousand times more if i hadn't been sitting to an extremely noisy grandpa and his grandkids. the kid kept squealing throughout the movie, which was normal, i mean kids are annoying little organisms anyway but the grandpa, omg the grandpa had to keep a running commentary about everything that happened. half an hour in i could not take it anymore, turned over and told the old man to keep his volume down. i would watch avatar again, if only to enjoy it without the constant noise pollution.

29/12/2009- sunway pyramid with ww.
bodyguards and assassins
wy actually wanted to watch this although i'd resolutely said no as i'd wanted to watch avatar so when ww suggested this today i agreed. like ip man, this was a movie i had no intention of watching yet was very glad i did. it was a pretty well-produced show. the action sequence and the acting were all pretty good although the constant switching between cantonese and mandarin was slightly annoying especially when it was so apparent the the actor's lips and the words coming out were not in concordance. some parts actually made me teary eyed. must be the dormant chinese in me, haha. overall, a good watch.

in summary, although i adore robert downey jr. to bits *ironman!!* and jude law is still a tasty piece of eye candy, out of the 3 movies i prefer the latter 2 despite not being as familiar with the actors. i suppose plot and special effects won out this time around, both movies had the feel of something epic whereas sherlock holmes was, in comparison, just a quaint detective show.

it feels like rain

2009-12-25T02:21:00.002+11:00

take to the streets,
can't ignore,
world starts crashing down,
find me,
god love your soul,
everyone's the same,
on the road,
lost till you found,
strong till you break,
whenever your world starts crashing down,
that's when you'll find me.

got my offer from wehi today. it's a good xmas present. if only i could stop feeling so guilty for letting my parents pay the crazy tuition fees for yet another year.

*all fall down- one repulblic

take a step

2009-12-10T23:17:00.000+11:00

i received my finals results today. 3 years of uni boiling down to 1 semester's worth of material. and i am sorely disappointed in myself. it's funny that when i look at my marks, i did not really see the high 93, only the low 75 and everything else in between seemed inconsequential even though they're all weighed the same. i still get my above 80 average but barely so. i hope it's enough to get me into wehi because i do not have a back up plan. i'll know next week. and i pray that it'll be good news.

they've got it good

2009-12-08T20:18:00.003+11:00

why does it feel like everything around me is falling apart?

paranormal activity/zombieland/the unborn/the boy in the striped pajamas/julie and julia/2012/cloverfield

2009-12-08T15:28:00.001+11:00

see the trend here? seriously going on a horror film bender >.<

paranormal activity had rave reviews everywhere. so of course i had to watch it. sadly, apart from the last 15 minutes (which seriously freaked me out) the movie was on a whole, a big yawn for me. i suppose the premise of the movie was sort of good. and the idea of using things that go bump in the night, a ghoul that was invisible, and the slow build up towards the final showdown (it was good, the showdown) to elicit shivers was different from most recent horror films but, well, it didn't really work for me.

you know what really works for me? zombies. as such, zombieland scared me as much as all the other zombie films i watch. seriously, i don't think the plot matters to me. i don't give a darn if it's a comedy (seriously, who find raving hordes of undead chasing after you funny?), zombies have me screaming like a crazy nut job. this one had a good rotten tomatoes rating and the fact that it didn't take itself as seriously as the dead and 28 franchises was quite refreshing.

the unborn is one of those movies that i watch just for the fun of it. no expectations because, well, this sort of movie was made to be bad, no? all i could really think of throughout the movie was, 'man that lead actress looks like a less slutty version of megan fox'. there was one really creepy scene. the part where an essentially paralysed old man was possessed, started chasing after the protagonist's grandma and sort of twisted his head 180 degrees whole crawling on all fours. that had me screaming, though as a friend pointed out, the similarity between that and zombies was similar enough to justify my temporary freak-out. the movie was pretty humdrum before and after that although the creepy kids did give me a bit of the chills.

the boy in the striped pajamas was our attempt to be deep and cultured. the fact that rupert friend played a role in it was just added bonus. personally, i find schmuel, the jewish boy in the concentration camp pretty adorable although i hope his teeth ain't that messed up in real life. the whole movie was great and the ending was really, really sad. i sort of had wet eyes at the end though it wasn't enough to make me bawl. it made me think that even though everyone of us probably has some degree of racism ingrained in us, only a very small minority of us is hardwired for cruelty. in some ways, perhaps nazi germany wasn't so much the manifestation of racism, more so a projection of one man's cruelty and ignorance.

on a less sombre note, julie and julia made my brain go on overdrive on the kind of food i'll eat once my stupid diet (2 more days to go!!) is done. i love amy adams and the way she delivers her lines. not so much a fan of meryl streeps portrayal of julia here but that's just me, i hate exuberantly loud and cheerful people, they give me a headache. but the food, oh the food. it was interesting to see stanley tucci play a straight man, meryl's husband no less, after their previous pairing in the devil wears prada. all in all, a good movie, very feel good and no need to think much.

speaking of no need to think much, one of the most brainless (in the sense that you just sit there and let the movie take you for a ride) movie this year, 2012, was surprisingly decent. the special effects were great and if you walk into the show without any expectations at all on being intellectually stimulated, you will have 2 hours worth of good entertainment. i sat on the 3rd row to the front and wasn't complaining at the end of it, so that must say something about the movie.

cloverfield came out some time ago though i never had a chance to watch it until recently. huge monster flicks don't really scare me that much. this one had good reviews. it was alright, i suppose. i finished the movie not hating it but not loving it either. seriously, what is the point when everyone dies?

that wraps up my movie escapades since exams ended.

what might have been

2009-11-22T11:40:00.002+11:00

aunt ellie had been unwell for a while already. she passed away today. i think. my mum was crying when she called me and it was all a bit muffled. i feel nothing. i should be feeling something. all i can think of was damn, i'm gonna miss her cooking. especially her sambal, curry, rendang. shit fuck i shouldn't be thinking about food, she just died!! i dunno if i'm supposed to go through the 5 stages of grief. denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. i'm definitely at denial. prolly am the kind to just skip to the acceptance part. here's hoping.

dear aunt, you'll be in my prayers. i love you. and your sambal-chilli paste. dear God, guide her on her journey, save her soul. amen.

the first day of

2009-10-30T23:22:00.000+11:00

the rest of my life?

today's officially the last day of term this year. for me, it is the last day of my degree, well, technically, I ended classes yesterday but uni ended officially today. i feel... that three years had gone by really fast. but really, i am pretty sad that i feel almost nothing. maybe it's because i didn't really feel as if i was part of something. being in the science faculty, we had so many different departments and so many different subjects. there weren't any core subjects so there really was never a sense of being in a 'class' with my fellow course mates.

also because, exams and assignments are looming. although i almost already have a place at the research facility of my choice for honours, it will all be for nothing if i screw up my finals. dear God, guide me through this. You have been with me all these years, stay with me in my time of need, guide me and lead me past this.

the first phase of my research diet ended today. eating unhealthily for the past 2 weeks really did mess up my insulin tolerance level. it's a bit the scary, the change. i hope i can get my tolerance level back up to at least my original level and really rev it up when i do the 'healthy' part of the diet.

anyhoo, intense studying for the next month. i will get what i want.

the wind and waves

2009-10-16T21:01:00.001+11:00

today i start a 4 week diet that is part of an ongoing research by baker idi on the effects of differently cooked food and its effect on diabetes risk. which basically means, i get free food for 4 weeks but i can only eat the food they provided, and since these are 'real' meals, as opposed to my usual muesli and milk, i actually have to spend time cooking and washing up. but i am very excited about this. apparently the study already have some pretty good results. not sure how easy it is to stick to the plan, i am pretty much a constant nibbler and i'll be missing out on group dinners or what nots in the coming weeks, which is sort of a bummer but a good thing 'coz i'll be saving $$. and i would be paid $300 at the end of the study, so there's that to look forward to.

speaking of $$. i broke the touchscreen of my samsung phone yesterday, in a moment of extreme frustration, violence, and most of all, stupidity >.< and it costs $135 to fix. there goes half of my not-even-here-yet-research-money. haih. should not have been so violent. but i f***ing HATE that phone. anyhoo, serves me right huh?

it's a change

2009-10-15T13:33:00.000+11:00

it's funny how i always notice the people i am not particularly on the lookout for but am pleased to see. it's like these little bundles of surprises god gives you. to encourage you and tell you, even if you are feeling lost and frustrated, there are little things in life, that in the big picture, might not mean much, yet in the short run, makes every day more bearable. thank you, god. i missed you.

mid autumn festival 2009

2009-10-04T20:29:00.003+11:00

celebrated the mid-autumn festival yesterday with esther, jiin ying, yun xin, jeremy, edmond, serene and her brother at ivan and tommy's apartment. was never really good with dinner parties, in this case, it was potluck. i never really mastered the skill of polite conversation and small talk around food. i either want my food too much or am so paralysed by being caught in a social situation that i freeze. you think i'm exaggerating and maybe i am. no, not really.

as such, did not eat much. the stuff we brought over were sort of, in esther's words, epic fails. the japanese curry was too watery, the noodles too garlicky and the honeydew sago had humongous lumps of sago in them >.< it was funny yet so painfully embarrassing. tried a tiny piece of century egg that edmond sort of pinched off for me. all of them couldn't believe that i had never eaten those disgusting looking things before.

the mooncakes. sigh, i want my tai thong mooncakes, really. the snowskin was frozen and tiny.... i couldn't taste anything out of them. the normal ones were just that, normal. and they're all so darn expensive as well.

and something bad happened. that said, something slightly good happened as well. at least there was some of both. though not enough to stop me from thinking that .....

...... i shoulda just stayed at home and studied for my exam on monday >.<

wilsons promontory 2009

2009-09-28T22:07:00.003+10:00

just got back from wilsons promontory. it was a 2 day trip. we went on sunday morning, came back on monday evening. it was with jiin ying's hongkie friends: jeremy, tommy, serene, sandy, lucia, jackie and terry, as well as esther, charlie, ivan, sindy and edmond.

we went in 3 different cars; jiin ying, charlie, esther and i were in tommy's car, which was too bad for him 'coz he got stuck with the non-hk bunch. the trip to wilsons promontory, nearly 4 hours inlcuding all stops, was not too bad. we sang, made stupid jokes etc although i did feel bad for tommy 'coz the other cars had alternate drivers whereas he drove all the way from melbourne.

the weather was crazy on the first day. we went on a short trail that wasn't much, apart from the weird cat-o-tail stalks there really wasn't much to look at. then we went to squeaky beach, which had all these weird foams that blew like snow and looked like some alien life forms. those were cool. but the wind was really, really strong.

we stayed in 2 different houses, guys and girls seperate although dinner was had in the girls' house. and, omg, there was so much food. played poker as well as black jack. went bankrupt really fast in poker and everyone got screwed by edmond in black jack, it was hilarious. slept on a queen size bed with jiin ying and esther. could not sleep. was laughing was too hard and the bed was way too small. all three of us climbed out of bed at 6.20am, it was ridiculous.

2nd day was more eventful with better weather. went on the trek to mount oberon. wasn't as taxing or exciting as central aus treks but the view from the top was amazing. and windy as well. we had our lunch there; the wind was blowing like crazy and it was drizzling. an interesting experience i probably wouldn't volunteer for anytime soon. esther and i sort of ran part of the way down and man, that was exhilarating.

had dinner with the rest of the people in the city. had an interesting conversation about different kinds of food. tommy gave us all a lift home. so now here i am, writing this much in probably not as much detail as i would like to remember but maybe too much insignificant details for anyone else reading this.

the world stops

2009-09-04T20:19:00.000+10:00

last night, i crawled into bed at 10.30pm. i woke up around 9.00am today. went to bed again at 11.00am and woke up at 3.30pm. there is something wrong with me. i have never slept for that many hours before. and it's not as if thursday was particularly taxing. it was pretty lax.

there's some sort of weird inflammation at the inner lining of my mouth. it hurts everytime i open my mouth and i don't think i can close my mouth completely without biting the inflamed part. it's making it a pain for me to eat today, as well as drink. as well as sing. which is probably partly the reason i stayed in bed the whole day. no need to eat, drink or sing. hahas.

project: immunology officially ended this week although there's still a major ass report due in 2 weeks. project: microbiology is starting next week. found that i am in a very big group of 10 in my project, which is going to be kind of hard to adjust to considering that i had gotten used to working in my little group of 4. that said, it would be nice to not need to power walk almost everyday to bio21 for a change. and there's this cute guy who was in my prac group last semester who's again in my group. hello eye candy =P

is in need to start studying now. gu~

the young victoria

2009-09-01T16:22:00.001+10:00

starring: emily blunt, rupert friend, paul bettany.....

it started with cheri, now, i am officially, totally in love with rupert friend of those gorgeous, gorgeous cheekbones.

so, i watched the movie yesterday and, like cheri i totally enjoyed every second of it. the movie is essentially a story between the young victoria and the love of her life, prince albert. expectedly, it is not all facts, there are documentaries for those, dramatisation is essential to keep the audience engaged and the movie played up the parts between the two leads to the maximum.

no sense going into the plot, because honestly, the plot was very, very simple and straightforward. i guess with movies like this you either walk out with a smile or end up unsatisfied. if you enjoy light movies but want something more than just cliched romantic comedies, this might be a good choice. i certainly enjoyed it more than i did the proposal.

i rate thee 8/10

yes, i think she is

2009-08-30T16:27:00.001+10:00

i cannot help it. i love new stuff. can't stop looking at new stuff. i lurve my blog's new look XD

is in your hands

2009-08-25T23:31:00.002+10:00

and i am very grateful for my merry band of friends who made it out tonight.

mount buller 2009

2009-08-24T21:48:00.003+10:00

went skiing for the first time last saturday. my body still aches slightly from the falls i had. never had i fallen so many times before. it was fun =) the top of mount buller was really, really cold. and foggy. and i sorta chickened out from skiing all the way down. next time. if there's a chance to go back up again, i would do my darnest to make it all the way down. even if i tumble and roll my way down. gu~

out of my mind lately

2009-08-01T21:27:00.004+10:00

am feeling restless. guess that's what happens when things are in flux.

am feeling overwhelmed. guess that's what happens in your last semester of university.

am feeling uncertain. guess that's old news by now.

am wishing that life comes with a perfect little guidebook that tells you exactly what would happen and what to do.

guess that is just wishful thinking.

---------

am obsessed with the 'bots' on facebook recently. more like obsessed in finding out what algorithm they use to calculate the matches and predictions. did both the crushbot and sexbot for both sexes. almost the same people came up each time. some say it's profile views. others say that it's the amount of interaction. i'd like to believe that it is totally random but that could not be because almost all my matches come from the same source. would just like to see some other humans on my friend list pop up, really. whatever algorithm they use to develop this, it's a bit lousy.

who is ever ready for these things?

2009-07-25T20:04:00.002+10:00

they say that the human race's sense of smell is probably one of the most sensitive amongst God's creatures. we can argue that dogs smell more acutely but what other species actually connect scents to memories as humans do?

today i bought a bottle of handwash with a particular type of lavender scent that reminded me very powerfully of a friend's room. everytime i get a whiff of it, i remembered things that happened in her room. all the nights spent together talking about stuff. the times we tried to make sense of our physics homework. how sometimes i can't stand her and other times, how she'd been there for me. my point is, it's amazing how a scent could invoke such powerful memories and feelings. after all, these things happened perhaps more than 4 years ago but still the scent... reminded me of her and everything connected to her.

the thing is. we're no longer friends. and the bottle of handwash with the scent that reminded me so much of her. well, it makes me uncomfortable. i wonder if i will think of her everytime i use it? perhaps not. we do get desensitized to a particular scent after a while. and as the scents fade, hopefully, so does the memories.

central australia trip 2009

2009-07-08T22:44:00.005+10:00

11 days of sand, rocks, bloody winds and freezing nights. i survived my first camping-as-in-really-sleeping-in-a-friggin-tent-trip. apart from the long, long bus trips, and i am talking about 26 hours non-stop on the bus traveling from melbourne through south australia to alice springs, the trip was surprisingly fun =) there was some treks, a climb up ayers rock (which i didn't do *cluck*cluck*haha*) and lots of nights playing bridge and some other card games.

35 of us went on the trip, apparently this was one of the smallest groups ever arranged by muoss, and we all fitted into the coach with room to spare. jiin ying was the only person i knew at the start of the trip. i thought, worse comes to worst at least i'd have one person. but by the end of the trip, we'd made friends or became acquainted with at least 85% of the people there. success! we were usually tent neighbours/bunkmates with these 2 sweet girls from singapore, ateeqa (she has the sweetest singing voice ever) and izzah.

the treks which i did do, which was all of them apart from the rock *sigh*, were all super awesome. i wasn't so much there for the photo ops *i know loads of people are* but to just re-experience the rush i felt as a kid, trekking with my dad. jiin ying and i were almost always in front of the pack or breaking off with this irish couple, barry and aisling (the only caucasions in participating in the trip), as well as, sometimes, these s'porean guys, matthew and kenrick, one of our team leaders, josh.
it felt really, really good walking over these uneven terrains and rock faces eventhough there was no small amount of complaining on my part while i was doing it. what? i'm a girl. i complain. bleh. haha.

matthew and kenrick, we met on the first day of camp while looking for kakis to play bridge. somehow all it took was one table to play bridge and the bug spread to encompass more than half of the 35 people by the end of the trip. funny cool when all the newbies were addicted to it and us 'old hands' were just looking at them thinking, 'crazy people'. the most extreme *i can't believe i'm using this word for bridge* i went was playing bridge until 3am and waking up at 5am.

i would recount all the places we'd been and trekked at but the itinerary is not with me and i am super lousy at rememebring aboriginal names so, i'll update locations some other time or just check out the photos others put up on facebook.

really sleepy now but still waiting for my first load of laundry to finish and eva to call.

so explain to me

2009-06-23T21:59:00.004+10:00

exams ended yesterday. went out with the few friends i had who ended on the same day *the rest, poor souls, end tomorrow*. somehow ended up going to some random guy's 'house party'. yours truly have never really been to one of those in australia. i know, sad, right. after last night, i just wasn't sure if i mind missing out on this. i know they say uni is all about the parties and getting drunk and laid but this is such an inherently guai lou mentality. right? no? maybe i'm just nerdy/guai-without-the-lou. *cough* but seriously.

i left after an hour. haha. my friends stuck around until 5am. singaporeans do know how to party, huh. but i don't see the point of drinking just to get drunk. every glass i down i was calculating the number of calories as well as the toll on my, underused, liver. and there wasn't even an attempt at pretending that this was more than an excuse to get drunk and act drunk. something about it felt... dirty? especially because i only knew 2 out of the maybe 10 people there.

call me a downer if you will but seriously, there just wasn't any point sticking around for long after. i don't enjoy drinking or getting drunk around strangers or when there is nothing to pair the activity with ;P

winters mar the earth

2009-05-06T15:17:00.004+10:00

in the frozen glass,
correct yourself,
freezing speech bubbles and
smoky clouds of laughter,
stand on the edge and
shout out loud.

shells cracked,
punctuation points,
of suns and stars,
fill the silence.

before you,
even in the darkness,
i can see,
for you.

*the planets bend between us- snow patrol

i've seen this room and i've walked this floor

2009-04-29T18:49:00.003+10:00

today was one of those days. one of those days when one thing led to the next and the day just didn't seem to want to end. it was one of those days when half the things that could go wrong, went wrong and the other half just left me wanting... to curl up in bed and shut the world out.

i so want to just reach out and touch you.

the immunology prac did not go well. and i hate tute participation marks because i am just not the kind to participate in a freaking discussion. 8am classes are the worst. and people who were hyperactive in 8am classes, just makes me even more depressed. i want my coffee, my head hurts and those people were.... so happy to be in class. at 8-freaking-am. we should still be in bed!

and then there was you. urgh.

deep breaths. deep breaths. forget the screwed up prac results. forget the fact that you know you're a freaking coward. forget the fact that.....

and i am grateful to be alive.

taking me to places

2009-04-15T10:06:00.002+10:00

this morning, while washing up the remnants of the crazy baking session i had with friends during the weekend, my mind drifted to.... j.co donuts. and how my mum, bro and i would cut each tiny donuts to 3 even pieces so we could try every flavour we'd got. i wonder if any other family does that?

it's funny how certain random thoughts which, really, are of no big deal, can cross your mind at the most unexpected times and just, make you smile.

time was lost

2009-04-08T19:41:00.002+10:00

kill me. kill me now.

in a cloud in a whirl

2009-03-14T15:21:00.003+11:00

you know that relief you feel when you'd just handed in an assignment?

i have never felt it before. handing in my assignments always seemed like i was handing in my death warrant, 'here, kill me now' pops to mind.

*sigh* guess some things never change....

where are you now

2009-03-13T14:15:00.002+11:00

i just received news a few days ago that my aunt might have terminal cancer. no further news as of now. i wonder how my family is taking it. i wonder if they'll pull through.

God please help us all.

81st oscars

2009-02-23T19:43:00.003+11:00

kate winslet won!!! hugh jackman sang (we know he could)! slumdog took almost all the awards!

you know how some award shows have awkward hosts who make these horrible jokes that almost always fall flat? omg, hugh jackman was so not one of them! i never knew he could be so darn funny. admittedly, not all his jokes were winners but he certainly did a great job. and he sang! i think he was lip-synching in some numbers but still!

let's start with the fashion. lots of very pretty frocks. i didn't watch the whole red carpet thingy but a few dresses caught my eyes. sarah jessica parker in a gorgeous belted long tutu thingy. miley cyrus in a beautiful cream dress. marisa tomei, yumm. ok, all 3 are in that almost creamy colour which seems to be pretty popular, along with red ala amy adams and, i think, heidi klum. *you can tell i've been watching too much e!*

slumdog millionaire was the anti-underdog/juggernaut everyone was rooting for. i have not watched it yet but am planning too. soon. since it won almost everything, including best picture. heath ledger won best supporting actor. dunno what to make of it because, personally, not such a dark knight fan. was rooting for iron man. don't think it won anything. was pretty pleased that kate winslet was announced best actress. the woman is just... phenomenal. although it would've been nice if anne hathaway won. sean penn won best actor; penelope cruz, best supporting actress.

the performance were nice. and the presentation of the acting awards, if i am not mistaken, was unique this year. the previous winners each announced a nominee in their category and present the award to the winner. so much better than the somewhat awkward banter the presenters have to go through in some award shows *cue grammy* although the ben stiller/joaquin phoenix impersonation was quite the funny. natalie portman held her own in that one.

the curious case of benjamin button, despite being nominated for the most awards, lost most of them to slumdog. which, i think, is expected. in a time of economic recession, i think the academy wanted something that wasn't as big budget to prove a point? as to what the point was.... i think i'll have to watch slumdog first to be qualified enough to tell you that.

even if it's not

2009-02-17T15:05:00.003+11:00

today i tried to change my flight ticket in a desperate attempt to escape the possibly inevitable nag/disappointed/frustrated talk from my dad. 'ah girl arr, since you came back, what have you done that was productive? you never thought to get a job or go help out at the company. how did you survive the 3 months of doing nothing?' how to answer a question i cannot give him a good enough response for?

turns out i have to pay an extra rm700 just to get my flight changed. so i'm stuck with my original date. *sigh* there's still a bedroom to furnish and a subject overload to take care of when i return and of all the luck, i arrive in the middle of the night so there'd be no bed to sleep on. and it's a weekend so i can't do my course thingy. shites. serves me right to leave everything at the last minute.

so now i'm stuck at the tiny cubicle inside my mum's office listening to office drama and all these problems that seems too huge for me yet they affect me as much as anyone else in this godforsaken place. it shouldn't have been too huge for me. i'm 21 going on 22, i should've been able to do something. younger people have achieved much more in less time. i am frustrated by my mediocrity and inadequacies. so i turn to my earliest memory of hope and support.

god help me. lord, save us all. please do not let us drown in what is admittedly a deep hole of our own making. amen.

happy chinese new year

2009-01-30T21:51:00.003+11:00

today marks the 9th day that i am sick. starting thursday the 22nd, i'd been hit with a persistent toothache followed by gum infection, a fever spiking 39.3 deg at one point, muscle and joint aches, lethargy, and, a recent complication, rashes, freaking itchy and angry red rashes, on my limbs. so much for chinese new year celebrations.

so i am sorry if i haven't been returning messages. it's just that i have been too sick to actually press the buttons on the stupid phone.

happy cny y'all. >.

what you got

2009-01-18T20:26:00.002+11:00

i think i need to learn to let you go, just as i always told you to let him go.

so there. the next time this happens, i will not let it affect me the way it is doing now.

the time traveller's wife (re-read)

2009-01-16T21:03:00.003+11:00

by audrey niffenegger

i first read this book less than a year ago. i was so blown away by it. in my nearly 20 years of being a compulsive reader, only one other book, ps, i love you by cecilia ahern, had made me cry buckets and buckets of tears, complete with snot and all.

so last week, on another sojourn to dump money at the already impossibly rich mall owners, i bought the book on impulse with a mind to push it at my mother after i re-read it. and so here i am, 3/4 into the book, and i knew the incredibly sad part was coming and i just could not help it, i had to skip ahead to that part, and, yes, the tears and snots came again.

there is just something about a wife being left behind by a husband who died an untimely death that just gets at me like nobody's business. it makes it sadder that the husbands were usually such sweet, charming and loving creatures who just so totally do not deserve to die.

being the self-obsessed maniac that i am. and also very superstitious, in a way, i sort of think that my intense emotional response *i swear nothing else has got me like this as of yet* is the universe's way of telling me that i might be that unlucky wife in the future. or someone close to me is to suffer such a fate.

having said that, if you wouldn't be caught dead reading ps, i love you because it is sooo chic lit, and hence, brainless *not all books of the genre are sans brain larr*, do make an effort to pick up the time traveller's wife. such an amazing read.

hell's highway: km31

2009-01-10T02:06:00.003+11:00

starring..... some mexican actors.......

spanish language mexican horror film. we missed the beginning. first scene we saw was a woman (agata) lying on a hospital all bruised and comatose. oh yeah, she had both her legs amputated. and then, an identical looking woman (catalina) started sobbing into the shirt of a guy (omar) who happens to be the comatose woman's bf. turns out those two were twins.

then goes the convoluted tale of agata being in a road accident at this highway at km 31. apparently she hit a kid but no body was found at the scene of supposed crime and no kid was reported injured at the hospital. another guy (nuno) enters the scene, catalina's spanish sort-of-bf. tension between nuno and omar 'coz omar told nuno he told catalina supposedly accidentally-on-purpose that he loves her thinking that she is agata. still following? cool.

then the multiple visits to km 31-this-is-getting-old. some tired tricks with the ghost/kid flitting by through the woods, almost touching people, yada yada yawn. some girl in the cinema genuinely screamed out of fright. some guys in front of us genuinely laughed at her fright. friend and i giggle at it all.

you sort of get the point, yea? if you've seen a few j-horrors, this film would seem familiar, just the language is sorta different. the only reason i wanted to watch this was because it was in spanish. i wanted to see how much i understood and remembered. heh. not a lot, as it turns out. but me gusto muchos la lingua espanol=P i think that would be grammatically incorrect. oh well.

anyhoo.... seis per diez?

ip man

2009-01-07T12:04:00.004+11:00

starring donnie yen, simon yam, lam ka tung.....

let me begin by saying that this film was surprisingly good. the trailer for the film aroused my interest but, wow, the film itself was really good with brisk pacing, quite a few funny moments that didn't fall flat, a solid cast and characters and, perhaps the most important factor of all, believable yet astounding kung fu.

set at around the 1930s onwards in fushan, the film tracks ip man's journey from being a privileged china-man whose only work is perfecting his martial arts and getting in the good graces of his scary wife *who for the first few moments she appeared, did nothing but glare at him, talk about dragon lady* to the miserable existence the chinese had to carve out under the japanese.

it was interesting to see the contrast between japanese and chinese martial arts. i am no expert but i do believe respect is an intergral part of both styles despite what the film tries to imply, after all, anything japanese in that era has to be bad and conscience-less.

lam ka tung's character was a pleasant surprise. li zhao (lam) underwent a series of transformations throughout the film, perhaps the most a character changed, to ultimately make the person he calls sifu *very one-sided affair* proud. a japanese sidekick general was the most annoying character of the film whose death was sweet when it came.

personally, i am not a kung fu film lover. i always found the jackie chan and bruce lee movies very annoying and unrealistic. i don't even like western action films like the transporter or such. mostly because the main characters were so assured of their superiority, the arrogance was just not attractive. i suppose this is what distinguishes ip man from the rest. even fearless which has a similar undertone *i think* didn't impress me that much because jet li's character, at times, especially in the beginning, was annoying as hell. in contrast, donnie yen's character was likable thoughout the film.

9.8/10. great movie.

diary of the dead

2009-01-04T00:01:00.004+11:00

as with all dead films, i do not care to know the actors/actresses names.

let me just say, this film scared the fresh s*** out of me. i swear the whole cinema theatre- it wasn't large, it wasn't full- was filled with my screams and frightened mutterings. i have a paranoia for zombies. ever since resident evil. that said, i have watched all the movies from the dead series as well as all the re installments, 28 days + months later, i am legend.... you would've thought i'd have conquered my fear of zombies a looooonnnnng time ago.

on a scary-ratings, i'll put this film up there with the 1st re film. i don't know if this is because i watched both in the cinema, and hence, cannot hide under my duvet and clutch my pillow until the fillings come out *the way i watched most of the aforementioned films*, and only with fish as back up and pillar of strength *we agreed that if this ever happens in real life, we'd blow our heads off than become zombies*, i was tempted to just curl up in my seat and close my eyes until this was all over. however, i stuck through the whole film, sunk low in my seat with my fingers splayed across my eyes, and, yes, screaming and muttering like a psychotic idiot.

i think this is a typical dead movie. the main characters do stupid things that exposed them to unneccesary risks. the zombies were gross and hungry.... and gross. the government proved to be useless. and most of the human population just.... succumbs to it. perhaps the funniest moment would be the one with the amish farmer. that was priceless. the commentary on people stopping to watch an accident rather than help rang depressingly true as well as the statement that with more media outlets, we are bombarded with more lies. pretty deep stuff for a zombie flick.

11/10 for the crazy adrenaline rush and scarng me like hell.

must be important to you

2009-01-01T19:46:00.001+11:00

Happy 2009 people. May the year be as different and bright as could be.

the spirit

2008-12-28T23:13:00.000+11:00

starring....gabriel macht, scarlett johansson, eva mendes, samuel l jackson....

my first thought was, 'this reminds me of sin city', which, of course, it should, since that was the only film noir i've watched before.

my second thought, 'eva mendes is not quite as the femme fatale she always tries to portray'. i might be biased 'coz i was never really a fan to begin with.

third thought, ' scarlett johansson doesn't really have much of a speaking character.... all she does is stand around and look pretty.....'.

the whole movie was..... disorienting. much like sin city ....

imho, a waste of my rm10 =(

3/10. keke.

twilight

2008-12-05T23:53:00.005+11:00

starring kristen stewart, robert pattinson and....

ok, it's been a long while since i wrote a post on movies. i wanted to do one on quantum of solace *drool* but didn't get around to it. so yesterday, woon wei and i were deciding whether to watch quarantine or twilight and woon wei, for once being decisive, chose the latter and i didn't have the heart to say no. walking into the cinema was a harrowing(?) experience. 80% were teens if not tweens. the rest were parents with kids. *yaiks*.

it was minutes into the movie and i was still struggling to figure out what it is about robert pattinson that drives girls crazy. i didn't read the first book but i did manage to read the majority of the second book n months ago. admittedly, edward cullen is an enigmatic... magnet. in the book, at least. don't think it translated well in the movie though. don't think i like either bella/kristen, to tell the truth. too fatalistic. too... un-dynamic?

there are some gems in the film. the baseball match was fantastic. i love the idea of super speed and strength and playing in the storm. the music was also great. especially loved bella's lullaby (carter burwell), the piano and violin worked so well together. it serves as a great backdrop to the amazing views and the relationship between the two main characters. i downloaded a few alternative belle's lullaby (yiruma, robert pattinson) off the net and they're all pretty good. reminds me a lot of secret garden, perhaps also a bit of clanaad.

i sort of wish they'd chosen a different actress to play bella but i guess in terms of feeling, the character annoys me both in the book and the movie. robert pattinson looked better as cedric diggory (harry potter) but i guess that could be because of the crappy make up he has on in this movie. some of his expressions in the film was so tortured and funny that it was priceless, though i'm not sure if that's because he's a good/bad actor.

6.5/10 and that's mostly because of the music.

some new disgrace

2008-11-01T19:59:00.002+11:00

i did screw it up.

so i bought a pair of sunglasses, the price of which i shall decline to state. just that it's half the price of the samsung innov8 i am looking to get.

*sigh*

she must be mad to do a mad emperors subject.

i know.

commodus-imperial insanity

2008-10-17T22:25:00.005+11:00

remember me saying i chose a mad emperors subject this semester? below is the essay that had caused me as much headache and hypertension as is possible, which i've handed in today. *fingers-crossed i didn't screw it up*

---

Marcus Aurelius Commodus Antoninus, son of Marcus Aurelius and Faustina, was born on the 31st August A.D. 161. Commodus was named Caesar at age 5, co-Augustus at 17 and reigned solo when he was 19, after Marcus Aurelius’ death. He ruled for nearly 13 years until his death in A.D. 192, having lived 31 years and 4 months.

Ancient writers like Dio Cassius and Ablius Lampridius were universal in their portrayal of Commodus as an emperor who was both cruel and tyrannical. For example, Lampridius wrote that Commodus ordered the bath-keeper to be cast into the furnace when he found his bath water to be tepid . Commodus was also portrayed as a man who was immoral and debauched. He allegedly gathered beautiful women together in a brothel as bought harlots . He was said to be obsessed with performing as a gladiator and thought of himself as the Roman Hercules. He drove chariots, albeit privately, fought in arenas against wild beasts and men, accepted a gladiator’s name and even had statues and coins of himself made in the likeness of Hercules. Commodus was also said to have renamed the months of the year after himself and ordered Rome to be called Commodiana . After more than a decade under his tyrannical rule, a conspiracy was plotted against Commodus and an athlete he trained with named Narcissus ultimately strangled him to death in his bath .

In The Fall of the Roman Empire , Commodus was depicted as a man who was more interested in games and gladiators than the tasks of government. The fact that Marcus Aurelius did not consider him a suitable heir in the film was in direct contradiction to the ancient sources, which stated that he was groomed for the principate since birth. There was no direct association between Commodus and Hercules although Commodus did mention several times in the film that he could hear the gods laughing. Commodus was portrayed to be quite a good gladiator in practice but a coward in reality. For example, he did not lead his own army against the rebellion in the east, instead ordering the film’s hero, Livius to do so. Towards the end of the film, Commodus was revealed to be not the son of Marcus Aurelius but that of a gladiator. The shock of the revelation caused Commodus to commit patricide. Another deviation the film took from the ancient sources was Commodus’ death. In the film, he died in gladiatorial combat with Livius, as opposed to being strangled to death.

In Gladiator , Commodus was portrayed as a man who was less of an obsessed sportsman and more of a scheming, insecure and ruthless villain who holds an incestuous lust for his sister, Lucilla. In the film, Commodus actually smothered his father to death after discovering that Marcus Aurelius planned to make Maximus, the film’s hero, his heir instead of Commodus. As a ruler, he was depicted as a tyrant and megalomaniac who desired to be thought of as ‘merciful’ by his people. The ancient sources stated that Commodus ruled for more than a decade but in the film Commodus’ reign was short, around two years. He never really did participate in gladiatorial fights in the film, except as a spectator, apart from the final battle with Maximus. His cowardice and lack of honour were made even more apparent when he stabbed Maximus before their fight, knowing that he could never beat the gladiator on equal grounds. Nevertheless, Maximus killed him in the end.

The discrepancies found above were probably due to what these representations were meant to be for the audience. Commodus was the main character in the ancient narratives whereas he usually served as a supporting character in modern representations. The ancient sources, especially Dio Cassius, were targeting a society which had lived under Commodus’ rule whereas the modern representations were directed at audiences who were not only from a different time but most likely from a different place and culture as well. As such, the differences in representations were essential to allow the intended audience to relate to the narratives.

For the ancient Romans, especially those from the Senatorial rank, it was a travesty for any man of status to perform in the arena as a gladiator. Seeing Commodus, their emperor, take on such a debasing role was both disgusting and disgraceful for the ancient Romans . Ablius Lampridius also stated that Commodus was adept in moulding cups, dancing, singing, whistling and playing the buffoon, all activities that do not befit an emperor . As seen with emperors like Nero and Caligula, such acts of deviance and performativity were tolerated less than acts of cruelty in ancient Rome and the ancient narratives honed in on the fact to further cement Commodus’ image as insane and tyrannical and, as such, an unsuitable monarch.

Both the ancient and modern representations portrayed Commodus as an emperor who was cruel and unfit to rule. However, the modern representations of Commodus did not associate him much with being a gladiator. Commodus was alleged to have killed wild animals like rhinoceros and hippopotami at Lanavium in the amphitheatre . Modern audiences would have found the senseless slaughter of exotic animals barbaric. It was acceptable, and expected, for humans to be killed in action films but the slaughter of animals would have offended the sensibilities of modern audiences and probably sparked off protests from animal rights groups like PETA, hence, historical accuracy was omitted in favour of commercialism.

Another omission found in modern representations of Commodus was that neither film dwelt much on his sexual debauchery. There was a stark absence of brothels and orgies in both films in a genre known for promiscuous emperors and available ladies. This was perhaps due to the filmmakers not wanting to make the film into another ‘sexploitation’ of Imperial Rome and its monarchies . As such, even though Commodus was portrayed as having an incestuous lust for his sister in Gladiator, there were no scenes between them that would have caused anything but a mild discomfort in even the most prudish of viewers.

Mann’s Commodus represented the old Rome of military conquest and political despotism , who valued nothing in sovereign power, except the unbounded licence of indulging his sensual appetite . He rejected his father’s ‘weakness’ and instead antagonized the eastern provinces by raising taxes and demanding more grain, as seen in a scene where he’d ‘danced’ across the map of Rome, demanding his ways like an insolent child. This representation of Commodus allowed Mann to contrast his tyranny with Marcus Aurelius’ and Livius’ vision of peaceful coexistence and political and social integration, both themes that could be related to 1960s society, especially in America, which was thought to be a cultural melting pot and an undiscriminating land of opportunities. Due to its founding fathers’ close spiritual ties to ancient Rome, comparison between the rise of Rome and the rise of America to the status of superpower was inevitable and the allusion of Rome’s fall in the film raised questions about the possibility of America’s future decline .

The plot twist of Commodus not being the son of Marcus Aurelius served as an explanation for Commodus’ erratic behaviour; after all, how could the progeny of a man who embodied all that was good turn out so bad? It was perhaps a sly allusion towards the sexual revolution that was occurring in America at the time but, most probably, it was just an adaptation of rumours found in ancient sources . Commodus’ death was another creative liberty taken by the director as it conforms not to historical fact but to Hollywood’s insistence that villains should die in the hands of the hero. The theme of good triumphing over evil, Right over Might, could be found in most Hollywood epics; perhaps a nostalgic reference towards America’s own history during the American Revolution.

Gladiator was Hollywood’s first major ‘sword and sandals’ film to be produced in decades when it came out in 2000. Russell Crowe’s Maximus and the testosterone rich gladiator epic probably provided audiences with the reassurance that men’s men do exist, during a time when high profile films such as American Beauty highlighted a sub-population of men who were physically, emotionally and sexually ambiguous. In contrast, Joaquin Phoenix’s Commodus was effete and spoke with a soft lisp; a villain who craved the approval of his father and the love of his people. He was jealous of Maximus, who had the love of his father, Marcus Aurelius, and his sister, Lucilla. His lust for his sister was such that he even went as far as to threaten to murder his nephew should Lucilla not return his love. The inspiration for such deviant character traits could probably be sourced from popular psychology at the time. Commodus, who was evil, true, but also insecure and vulnerable; embodied the notion that the lack of love shown to and experienced by a child could turn him into a monster . Deprived of his father’s love, he longed to build family bonds with others, referring to the Roman people as his children and seeking maternal affection from his sister, for whom he also lusts.

Ancient writers like Ablius Lampridius and Dio Cassius were adamant in their portrayal of an emperor that was mad and cruel but coins of Commodus was found portraying him to be a triumphant general and warrior and there was evidence that he was popular with the people for the majority of his reign . The people loved him for his generosity (i.e. giving largesse to the people) and also for holding spectacular games. It was also for that very reason that Romans from the Senatorial rank like Dio Cassius hated him, perhaps part of the reason why Commodus was depicted so unfavourably in ancient texts. He taxed the members of the Senatorial class to obtain funding for the largesse, causing tension between him and the Senators.

The Senators were also not very pleased with Commodus’ megalomania, which manifested in his renaming of the city, its people and the months of the year after himself. Such acts were seen as the ultimate arrogance of an emperor who seemed to think that everything started with him. Apart from that, Commodus had the added burden of being compared to his father, Marcus Aurelius, a dedicated military man who managed to maintain good relations with the Senate and was also a philosopher of sorts. It was inevitable that every single mistake Commodus made would be picked up and amplified by the ancient writers who adored and glorified Marcus Aurelius.

Films like The Fall of the Roman Empire and Gladiator tended to focus more on Commodus’ character flaws, both historically accurate and made up, that modern audiences could relate to and to contrast them with what was happening in contemporary society. More often than not, Commodus played second fiddle to the heroes, usually fictional characters, of these films. The implication was that Commodus was so ‘bad’ that a character had to be invented to counter him. For example, in Gladiator, Commodus was almost like a mirror opposite of Maximus. Audiences were expected to identify with Maximus, who was Republican, his family values, his strength and honour whereas Commodus was portrayed as this depraved monarch who was immature, unreasonable and ill prepared for the demands of governing . These films warn against the dangers of an unchecked executive leadership, represented by Commodus and advocate a system of checks and balances in the form of a republican institution .

Depending on where the films were screened, either America or elsewhere, this could be seen as pandering to American audiences or propaganda of republican (American) values. The fact that, in both films, Marcus Aurelius chose a military man as a successor was also an indicator of popular belief that military men were less likely to lie and sugar coat than political figures (i.e. Commodus was seen as untrustworthy and unsuitable even by his own father). The bypassing of Commodus as an heir could also be seen as a snub towards hereditary monarchy and further drove home the very American dream that anyone could make it big, regardless of race and status.

It has long been accepted that images of Rome are not stable; perhaps the same could be said about its emperors. Commodus’ representations shift with accordance to political and social circumstances, ideology and aesthetics but he was invariably portrayed as evil. This might be because he was a megalomaniac to begin with or due to the lack of love shown by his father. Whatever the reason was, Commodus served as a cautionary tale against absolute power and the consequences of tyranny.
----

remember how i said that i like essays? i take it back.

gold coast 2008

2008-10-02T16:30:00.003+10:00

a group of friends and i went to the gold coast this semester break. we were there from the 23/9 till the 28/9. my main reason for going there was for the theme parks =P it never occurred to me that i'd be too old for it, truly. and what else were we supposed to do there? my friends aren't exactly party people. i had to convince them really hard to even get one night out. even then, i wasn't very successful at getting them to do it . *sigh*

anyhoo, we went to movie world and dreamworld. back to back. movie world was first. we thought we wouldn't need to spend loads of time there 'coz there really wasn't a lot of rides. the first ride we took was batman. it's a celero shot thingy that wasn't really scary. i sat next to li ern for that and... was really amused and impressed by her lung power. then we went for scooby-doo, which was surprisingly fun. i thought it'd be one of those silly kiddy rides (it probably is) but i really enjoyed it. then we went for a shrek 4D thingy which i found extremely boring. after that, the lethal weapon rollercoaster which was super cool. i like the fact that our feets were dangling beneath us. after that, the superman. that ride was exhilaratingly scary, ok. the dips and turns had me screaming my head off for almost 90% of the few seconds we were up there. seriously cool ride.

the next day, we went to dreamworld. they also have a celero shot thingy called the giant drop. it looked really, really scary 'coz it was twice as high as batman at.... can't remember how high, but it was high. esther, who took most of the scary rides the previous day with me and jiin ying wasn't up to it today so it was just me and jiin ying doing most of the rides. the claw was... like a pirate ship? it was fun, not scary. the corkscrew was a rollercoaster. also fun, not scary. the wipeout was super fun, but again, not scary. the vortex.... was an interesting experience and science geek that we all are, couldn't help making stupid jokes about them =.='. the motocoaster was fun, not scary. we went to this... haunted house thingy modelled after the newest mummy movie. saw a really, really cute guy while waiting our turn. *drool* was the leader of our group in our 'journey' into the tomb. was actually very nervous but somehow my merry group of friends thought i didn't feel anything. *hides sweaty palms and giggles nervously*. saw lion show. ok ok lah. was really tired at this point. went for the tower of terror ride, supposedly one of the fastest vertical drops in the world. i was really, really tired at this point lah. the ride was not scary at all. eventhough it looked scary.

one the days we didn't go for theme parks, we just bummed around, played bridge, laughed and moaned at our sucky dinners, complain about the weather (super hot), went to the beach. liddat loh.

what i learned from the trip. i have the tolerance of 12 year olds when it comes to thrill rides. which is to say, i don't feel most of the symptoms that strikes people my age, like dizziness and nausea. that said, when most of the people around me are at least 5 years younger than me, maybe i am getting old for theme parks. not. keke.

couldn't be much more

2008-09-14T11:21:00.003+10:00

the plan is to become semi-anorexic.

morning: cereal drink

lunch: 2 pieces of bread and tea

dinner: an apple and green tea.

the ideal is to save on food money, decrease petrol miles and save the environment.

the main reason is to see how much self control i have.

and it starts today.

check back in a week to see how it goes.

something told me to run

2008-09-03T23:43:00.003+10:00

my dad called just now. he has the tendency to call me out of the blue and expect me to come up with something to say. and i can't. he wants me to speak to him, talk with him and i can't. i don't know what to say. mostly because i'm not a very good phone conversationist. partly because half the things i want to say, i can't say to him.

i know he's frustrated with this. but how do you propose to build a gap that has been building for so many years, especially when we're not face to face? am i still afraid of my dad? maybe. but mostly, i feel guilt. guilt at being so stubborn at what i want. guilty of the financial strain i'm putting on my family. guilt that i probably will never be who he hopes for me to be.

i love you, dad. i do, but i won't say it to you and i can't show it to you. i don't know how to do that just yet and words are meaningless in this context.

closer to what you want

2008-08-29T12:46:00.003+10:00

yesterday, i went to a hip hop freestyle class at the melbourne music academy. today, my body sings with aches all over and i am happier than i have been in a long, long time. endorphins, maybe. mostly it's me reconnecting with the 15 year old who loved this dance. it has taken me a long time to find him but i've found the instructor of my dreams, possibly. perhaps it's too early to judge, after all, i've only been to one lesson but i really want this to work.

in the middle of the night

2008-08-25T20:48:00.003+10:00

today i woke up with a sore throat. i have a love hate relationship with my birthday. the expectation, mostly mine, and the disappointment, mostly mine too. so i was not really expecting much today. after all, half of my friends had already celebrated with me last saturday.

i sort of expected jiin ying and sin yee to pull something so when they said to go out for dinner at the last minute, i was in my pajamas, i went along with them. what i didn't expect was esther, yun xin and charlie being there. i was surprised. and grateful. though not so pleased with my attire.

thank you, people. really appreciate it all.

how you wanted

2008-08-23T17:19:00.003+10:00

my friends took me out for dim sum today as a... early birthday celebration. they thought to surprise me with a cake but, honestly, 2 surprise birthday cakes in a week (we did it for sum yee's on monday) is not really too much of a surprise. the group of friends who pulled it off on my 18th birthday was much more successful. that said, i was really grateful to have people who cared enough to do it.

thanks to the eight people (wai yen, wai che, li ern, jo in, lilian, marilyn, yan, sum yee) who dragged their asses out on a saturday morning to do this for me. it wasn't easy with the avalanche of work you all are facing so many, many thanks.

it felt so right

2008-08-17T16:32:00.002+10:00

i just have to say this.

whoooooot!!!

michael phelps, you rock!!

there.

code geass: lelouch of the rebellion

2008-08-03T16:11:00.004+10:00

recently i've been watching this anime, code geass. i wasn't very keen on watching it at first because the version my friend gave me has chinese subtitles. my crappy grasp on the language doesn't allow me to keep my eyes off the words for even a second to understand even half of what was being translated. needless to say, the choice was either look at the action or the words. unfortunately my eyes can't go in 2 different directions and, well, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that i tire of the desperate attempt fairly quickly >.< that said, after watching 20 episodes of the anime, i find myself warming to it. and i think my adaptive instinct kicked in and i am now keeping up with 70% of the translation. i know, i know, so much for efficiency, right? my point is, the series is actually quite cool. i have not found a character i especially loathe, apart from a certain racist genius, nina einstein but her screen time is quite minimal. the hero, lelouch vi britannia is quite convincing as the crusading anti-hero mastermind. ruthlessness and vulnerability is a very winning mix. i do love damaged souls x)

the general prevalence of violence in animes guarantees lots if casualties and because the creators did such a good job with character development, i actually felt sorry when characters were killed off. the development of a cruel monarchy and empire, a new world order and amazing warfare technology all strikes too close to home to make it entirely unbelievable. perhaps in a few decades we will see something somewhat similar to this? a very scary thought but media has an uncanny knack for accurate premonitions.

any more to give

2008-08-01T20:13:00.003+10:00

a thousand times,
gravity,
makes me want to run,
shut the world away,
everything we know fades to black,
truth is i am done pretending,
pushing me so far,
all we have lost,
mistakes we have made,
a place where we escape,
wander streets,
faces a blur, all the same,
here i am without you,
so much more to say.

*love remains the same- gavin rossdale

the dark knight

2008-07-24T06:37:00.002+10:00

starring christian bale, heath ledger, aaron eckhart, maggie gylenhall, michael caine, morgan freeman. (you know it's a blockbuster when i know the names of more than 3 actors in a film and the dark knight has more than its share of well-known actors.)

the dark knight picks up where batman begins ended and gotham city is still as screwed up as ever despite the efforts of the titular character, vigilante forces and a shining white knight in the form of a new district attorney. stir into the sorry mess a maniacal (read: very disturbing) loon and all hell breaks loose.

i like heath ledger. i liked him in 10 things i hate about you and i liked him in brokeback mountain. i do not like him as the joker. i know he's garnered great reviews for the role and he probably deserves every praise but i can't bring myself to not hate the disgusting freak he portrayed, and that too, is probably to his credit. all the little mannerisms, especially the thing he does with his mouth, wetting it?, brought the bile up my throat.

as such, i believe that it's still batmans show. and harvey dents. i love aaron eckhart in this role. mostly because, even when he was still the crusading saint, you got this sense of crazy undercurrent coming off him, like everything is just tightly coiled and he'd freak at any moment. the scene where both harvey and rachel thought they were gonna die was priceless and almost, almost brought a tear to my eye.

the climax of the film, for me, was not any of the showdowns between the dark one and the crazy one. it was the ferry boat dilemma. a well known psychological theory tested out in real life courtesy of the joker and i was impressed when the inmate threw out the detonator. in the end no one wanted to send the other to hell and isn't that the glimmer of hope we need in a screwed up city like gotham?

all in all, a good film. can't help comparing it to ironman and when i did, i found that i still like ironman more. this film is too dark, too twisted and too bleak though admittedly that is the tone it wants to set.

8.5/10.

be here to place me

2008-07-12T15:39:00.003+10:00

discovered during dinner with gong yue on thursday that you can actually get your results earlier than the release date by ordering an email of your enrolment history. as such, miss kiasu went home after dinner and immediately ordered one. hence discovered a full half day before the others *wow*sarcastic* what her results were.

i don't mean to gloat, ok, i do mean to gloat, but i'm pretty pleased with my results although i probably could've done better had i not been reading too many novels and watching too many movies. oh well. i'm grateful.

tasmania 2008

2008-07-09T21:13:00.003+10:00

tasmania trip: 5/7/2008-9/5/2008 with sum yee, lilian and jo in. flight from melbourne: 9.30am.

5/7/2008
reached launceston: 10.30am.
checked in at: the arthouse hostel.
first stop: cataract gorge. took zig-zag trail instead of main (easy) trail. less than halfway up, discovered that some of us were ill-dressed and not nearly fit enough to do this. pushed on nevertheless. rewarded with beautiful views of the gorge and the sea. duration: 3 hours.
lunch: fisherman's basket. walked around town and across park. ate horrible ice-cream. bought discounted chicken at coles for dinner.
ghost tour: 8.30pm-10.30pm. with jo in, lilian. boring tour guide with coughing flu. no ghosts. freezing night. did get to see beautiful historical buildings around launceston, which is the 3rd oldest city in australia.

6/7/2008
early rise at 7.00am. van for adventure tour arrived at 9.20am. joined people doing the 6 days tour. we're doing the 3 day east coast adventure tour. more girls than guys. mostly caucasians.
first stop: some rainforest somewhere. walked through mush and twigs to see giant white gums. wore inappropriate clothing. got a leech on my calf. freaked out like hell. thank god for chivalrous chinese guy who plucked it off me.
second stop: a beach somewhere. very clean, very nice beach. way better than wet, leeches-filled rainforest. still paranoid of hiding leeches.
accommodation: beach house. played cards with the girls until very late at night.

7/7/2008
earlier rise at 5.45am. went to another beach to get pictures of sunrise and waves reflecting the sun.
first stop: freycinet national park. trekked through nearly 3km of hills and forest to wineglass bay. another 3km back. reminded me of the treks i had with dad back in brunei. loved it but sum yee was almost dead by the time we got back down. more than 3 hours trekking over 5km of mountain, steps and sand. very tiring but huge adrenaline rush. we swore to relax and take our leisure at hobart, no more trekking or strenuous exercise.
long drive to port arthur. settled in at house next to cemetery. went on ghost tour at port arthur historical site. way better guide this time and actually got creeped out at times even though i expected nothing to happen. maybe i really don't believe in ghosts. leeches seems a much more real threat.
taught the girls how to play bridge. got impatient but ploughed on. worried that they'll all think i'm mean but too tired to be nice.

8/7/2008
later rise at 7.30am to rain. walked to historical site. disappointed by bad weather but went on walking tour anyway. guide was boring like hell and ground was wet with slush. really disappointed because i love historical sites and the ruins all looked so cool. went on cruise around port arthur and hooray! the rain stopped after the cruise. got nice photos around some of the ruins before rushing back for lunch.
stopped at tasmanian devil park. didn't go in to see feeding. instead walked 1km to chocolate factory nearby. tasted and bought chocolates. talked with our driver/guide/cook/caretaker bruce while we waited for those who went for the feeding. discovered things to do at hobart, our next stop.
arrive at hobart: 5.30pm, end of tour. fell in love with the city at first sight. built on hills facing the waterfront. reminded me of both sydney and edinburgh. accommodation: central backpackers on collins street. almost everyone on the tour chose to stay there. washed all our stinky socks and dirty pants. walked to waterfront for dinner at fish frenzy. ordered trevalla and flathead to share. wish to be home so that i can eat fish for dinner everyday. went back and played bridge, snap and big two until late.

9/7/2008
woke up 'late' at 8.00am. checked out and had breakfast at leaveat. nice sandwiches there. too bad there's no franchise in melbourne. decided to walk to royal botanical gardens. thought it would be a short walk, in the end, it took nearly 1 hour to get there. stopped at memorial park on the way. took pictures. for some reason, decided with jo in to skip across metal rope. tripped and fell on bum. say it with me, embarrassing. garden was huge and beautiful though most flowers not in bloom. walked loads eventhough we didn't plan to.
took long walk back to city waterfront for lunch at mures. ordered and shared salmon and fisherman's basket with sum yee, blue eye pie with jo in and lilian. pie was really good. lilian bought a box of seafood home.
went to tasmanian museum and art gallery. for someone who doesn't like museums, i find this one very interesting. too bad we didn't have enough time to look through everything before we have to rush back to the hostel for taxi pick up.
flight from hobart: 6.20pm. reached melbourne: 7.30pm.

highlights of the tour: freycinet trek, port arthur ghost tour, hobart city itself, getting sucked by a leech and freaking out. it's been an eventful 5 days. now i just need to catch up on my sleep and prepare myself for result day on the 11th.

prince caspian/ps. i love you

2008-07-03T21:19:00.004+10:00

prince caspian starring: those four kids and a very hot title character =P

so, we decided to meet up and discuss about our upcoming trip to tasmania this tuesday and me being so desperate to watch prince caspian, dragged the girls to it. it was good. way better, imo, than the first one. the special effects were better, the plot seems much more concrete and the jokes funnier. the cinema crowd was probably one of the best i'd ever been in, they laughed at all the right times and sort of really got into the movie. the mouse was sooo cute. sort of like puss in shrek without the big glistening eye but with a very long tail. i love the soundtrack to the movie. i'm not sure if it was worth the $10 we paid to watch it but it was definitely very enjoyable.

can't wait for tassie trip on saturday, even if i am sick. which i am.

ps. i love you starring hilary swank, gerard butler.....

jo in transferred this movie to me (along with complete seasons of gossip girls, one tree hill...more of that later) and i was really reluctant to watch it because of how the book made me feel. but yesterday night, i decided to brave it and, well, i bawled my eyes out. i think it's just me. friends whom i'd recommended to read the book didn't feel whatever it was i felt when i read it and, well, those who saw the movie didn't have much to say either.

i probably couldn't be able to explain what it is about the concept that really got under my skin. maybe it was the dead husband and the grieving, young widow. maybe it was the fact that the husband had the foresight, consideration and love to posthumously guide his wife through and past her grief. maybe it was sadness at how short life is and how the dead will remain dead and the living just have to move on or risk being left behind. i could come up with all sorts of reasons but the fact of the situation is that the book got to me the first time around and the movie did it too.

shall i drool on my new favorite tv series gossip girls? yes? ok. love, love, love the trashy show. couldn't get past the fact that most of the high school 'juniors' are actually in their 20s. *yaiks* been watching this anime vampire knight as well. very addictive, this is the sort of plot and drawing that got me started on anime in the first place. this has been the first anime to provoke the same sort of reaction i got when i first watched ayashi no ceres, which is btw still my favourite anime but i think vk might soon replace it.

happy birthday brother. i still love you and know you love me too.

i hope life treats you kind

2008-06-26T20:21:00.003+10:00

finally, i've finished my double whammy today. yes, on my last day of exams, i had to cram two in, one 3 hour paper in the am and one 2 hour paper in the pm. fingers crossed that i didn't mess anything up.

went for mexican dinner at taco bill with anne and queenie after spanish exams. shall i just say that it was way, way better than the place our tutors brought us to. de postre es muy bueno, delicioso! es helado vainilla y obleas finas del cinnamon. apparently, the restaurant/bar is famous for its margaritas, every other table ordered those brightly colored drinks, some in this huge glasses they refer to as 'fishbowls'.

half my friends are leaving for the holidays, the other half are staying, going for holidays or taking winter courses. yours truly will be leaving for tasmania on the 5th july. i just saw the exchange rate today, 3-point-fucking-5!! excuse the obscenity but if i'd wanted outrageous exchange rate i would've chosen the us or uk as an education destination. oh my f***. and my next fee installment is due in less than a month.

anyhoo, exams are over and i get that familiar feeling of sudden weightlessness and emptiness that inevitably sets in after weeks of pseudo-stress. wouldn't take long for me to get used to it.

the pursuit of happyness

2008-06-24T06:01:00.002+10:00

starring will smith, jayden christopher sayre smith....

the last movie i saw will smith act in was i am legend. he garnered good reviews for that role but his portrayal as chris gardner, i was told, was supposedly one of his best performance. that, and the fact that his kid was a surprisingly good actor.

so in the midst of preparing for tomorrows paper, i decided to watch the movie and it was frustrating, demoralising, funny and, at the end, uplifting. you really do end up cheering for will smiths character. because ultimately, who wants to see someone try and try just to fail in the end. we all want to believe that if we try hard enough and put in all that we got, we should get the equal reward at the end.

i didn't find anything to fault or praise jayden smiths performance, actually. in fact, in some scenes, i actually find him kind of annoying. but that might be because i don't like kids around that age in general. i suppose i'm also too young to understand what is it that spurs will smiths character to keep his kid with him at all cost. i mean, the mother seems to be doing better financially, so shouldn't he at least let the kid go with his mom until he can get his act together?

i suppose chris gardner, before he struck gold, is everyone's personal nightmare. especially for those who know that they can achieve more, expects that they can be more but due to life's many twists, end up being less.

i suppose the reason why they described chris gardners story as the embodiment of the american dream is because, in the end, he did get out of the rut. he didn't go to college, he wasn't some young, up-and-coming yuppie, he was effectively a single, middle-aged dad who was willing to risk it all for a better life for his kid and, against all odd, he made it, and made it big.

for the feel good factor, i give it 8.5/10.

the holiday

2008-06-16T16:44:00.004+10:00

starring cameron diaz, jude law, kate winslet and jack black...

the thing about chick flicks is that no matter how bad they are, they simply cannot be too bad. that said, the holiday is definitely not bad. now i cannot vouch for how much influence jude law has in my opinion about this movie. i cannot ignore the fact that i kept swooning over him in most of his scenes.

the notion of being able to pack up our lives, leave for the unknown, just to escape, rejunevate, whatever is very tempting. to assume someone else's life while doing so makes it more interesting. of course the big bonus should always come in the form of some drop dead gorgeous member of the opposite sex who just happens to fall in love with you. we can't all be cameron diaz and, yes, specimens like jude law are hard to come by, but we can dream, and hope =)

between the female leads, i like kate winslet's character more. she's got the child-like attitude that's very fun to watch, especially when she's reached a state that is somewhat comparable to gumption. jack black, for once, plays a moderately low key character and is surprisingly watchable and like-able.

the quaint little town in surrey, england looks very picturesque and the snatches of christmas carols fits very well into the holiday theme of the movie. if i were watching this movie in december away from home, it'd be the perfect recipe for homesickness and self-pity. as it is, this movie was a welcome breather to my *non-existent* exam preparations.

8.5/10 <-- if jude law wasn't in it, i'd probably still give it a respectable 7 >.<

ain't no need

2008-06-13T19:02:00.002+10:00

why do i always fall for the married ones? a flicker of attraction and then the attention turns to to ring finger, almost always adorned with a wedding band.

i bought a new macbook. i think i love/hate it. i'll always look at it and be reminded of the one i'd lost. i saw someone using an exact replica of my old one 2 days ago at union house. i know, i know, macs all look the same but this one has a red leather cover exactly like mine. wai che actually suggested i sneak over to see if it's actually mine. of course i didn't do it 'coz i don't believe someone would be as stupid as to flaunt something they'd gotten illegally days after it was stolen.

tomorrow would be exactly a week after i'd shifted into my new place. the house still just contains me. i hope someone nice moves in soon. not an ass, please please not an ass.

had my first exam of the year yesterday. i thought it wasn't too bad. i hope i didn't misread the situation.

anyhoo, another 11 days till my next one. plenty of time to revise. will hopefully use the time wisely.

may the devil take your soul

2008-06-06T13:40:00.004+10:00

my laptop was stolen from my room on wednesday while i was out. some asshole probably dragged it from my desk through my window using what could only be a very long shovel or a pizza shovelling thingy.

2 days have passed and i am still seething. my mum assured me that it's just a laptop and so long as i have no important or incriminating information stored in it, it's ok. the problem is, it's not ok. it's my laptop. it got stolen. i don't care if i store s*** in it, i'm just f******* pissed that something of mine is stolen from me. when i was out. in the bright light of day. so near the exams when my psyche is unbearably low.

so now i have to deal with getting a new apartment, moving out from the scene of crime and studying for my exams, which i was doing when the theft occured, making this even more of a punch in the face. i can't sleep in my room without seething and the anger prevents me from a restful sleep. so i'm cranky and pms-ing and needy and insecure and i'm trying to get a thousand things done at once in warp speed.

enough of the ranting. i'm going to a financial aid meeting to try and get a loan for a bond deposit at a new place. hopefully be able to move in by sunday.

i've been looking

2008-05-30T17:15:00.003+10:00

so today is the last day of first semester of uni, right?

and i was really proud of myself for not skipping any classes this semester as opposed to the whole of last year where i skipped maybe more than a quarter of them. except for this wednesday when i unintentionally skipped microbiology because my blood donating session took longer than i thought.

but today, on the last day of semester, i did the most idiotic thing ever. there is a 2 hour break between my 2 lectures today and i usually go home. today, i decided to be good and spend the free time catching up on my virology lectures. somehow, i thought my lecture was at 3.15pm instead of 2.15pm so i took my sweet time walking to the lecture hall.

imagine my surprise when i reached the lecture hall at 3.00pm and saw that the lecturer was already at the end of, what i assume was a very informative, microbiology review session. *cue to start swearing again* stupid, stupid janet.

i was trying to make a point of going to this session because all the lecturers who lectured for the course were going to review their part in this session. stupid, stupid, stupid.

anyhoo, i got my friend to lend me her notes so it isn't a total loss.....

bring me home

2008-05-29T17:30:00.002+10:00

i've been dedicating a lot of posts to one specific person lately.

it's disturbing.

grey's "oh my god it's so great" anatomy

2008-05-23T22:51:00.004+10:00

another season of grey's finished and it was good =) all that kissing. all those developments. good developments. not sad or tragic like season 3. meredith and derek back together. yay!! it was only for the last few minutes but the chemistry from season one, when you can't help but smile when they're doing their thing, it's back. and i really couldn't help grinning like an idiot.

*then i had to go and read the stupid forums and discover that people are suspecting that some accident might happen to mcdreamy between the last scene and next season. sadists. pessimist. realistic, given grey's writers tendency to torture their characters*

now i have to wait till september for the new season. 3 months!! torture!

the time traveller's wife

2008-05-17T21:48:00.002+10:00

by audrey niffenegger.

oh my god.

i just finished reading the book.

oh my god.

it was good. like, really, really good.

it gets a bit confusing, the distorted timeline and the travelling back and forth. i still can't really get my head around it, not that i really tried to, i was too busy with the characters and their lives. it has been a long time since i'd read a book where i like all the characters and didn't find anyone of them bonkers. the last few book i'd read had left me disillusioned but no more! great literature is still alive! accuse me of being pedestrian in my taste but there is a reason why bestsellers sell well.

both the lead characters are extremely likeable. it's so easy to paint the female lead, clare, as spoilt/dimwitted/helpless/self-pitying but she's not, except towards the end when henry dies. henry is everything you want a male lead character to be. intelligent, talented, fun, witty with the right balance of angst and acceptance towards his situation.

this is the second novel, after ps.i love you, that made me bawl like a baby. now that i think of it, there is a fair amount of similarity between the two though if one must compare, this is probably the better novel and would appeal to more than just chick lit readers.

ah, a great novel, so sad that i'd finished it though.

rise and shine forever

2008-05-15T01:48:00.004+10:00

today i woke up cursing my 8.30am class. i was up late yesterday reading the time traveller's wife. so it wasn't as if i was actually doing anything productive. but because it was my spanish class and attendance is marked, i dragged my ass out of bed. Me levanto porque no tengo mas remedio.

yesterday was a very low day for me. so i wasn't exactly looking forward to today.

spanish went by in blur. spent my hour free between classes attempting to write my genetics practical report and found out i had no idea how to plot on a semi-log paper. microbiology lecture was an avalanche of information that i have no hope of remembering. genetics lecture was actually good today, we learnt about the amish community in lancaster, pennsylvania. so i ended by contact hours feeling a bit better. went to genetics tutorial unprepared, when am i ever?

discussed the practical report with li ern and wai che. found out at 2.30pm that we were supposed to inoculate an overnight culture at 1.00pm today. horror! rushed over to the lab to find some other people doing it still. phew. made plans with li ern to watch iron man* tonight with wai yen and their mutual friend, luke.

today is the second last class for street latin. was actually really pooped by 5.00pm and didn't really feel like going but dragged my ass to union house anyway because i'd paid for it. we did merengue, salsa, cha cha and rumba. for merengue, the instructor added this crazy move where the guy whirls the girl round and round and round at high speed. i felt like a kid again when my favourite past time is to spin and spin, just so i can see the world spin with me. personally, i think merengue is my best dance but i love the rumba eventhough we didn't learn much of it. rumba is much more expressive and soulful. i am going to miss dancing when classes end next week.

7.30pm, rushed to melbourne central where the rest are having dinner. caught the 8.45pm show.

*starring: robert downey jr., gwyneth paltrow, terrence howard...

witty lines, non-conformist hero, coolest super-hero suit building process ever, funny and charismatic. the adjectives could be used to describe the movie and robert downey jr. heck, i'd even go as far as say that the reason the whole movie is so damn good is because of him. i shall not go into the plot etc because, honestly, it isn't very groundbreaking. the special effects were good and the flight and fight sequence were good but the lines and acting are what made the movie above average. there's a very good dose of humour in witty lines and sarcasm and these are delivered perfectly by downey jr.

i'd give it a 9.5/10. love, love, love it. would definitely catch the sequel.

so, you might be wondering what's the point of me writing my day in such detail. i mean, what's so special about today, right?

it's to remind myself that even when i feel that my life is tedious and monotonously routine, there are still some days worth living for.

能不能別想太多

2008-05-11T00:50:00.004+10:00

why is it that where i am is never where i want to be?

when will my present catch up with my future so that i can stop chasing the unattainable dream, the proverbial greener pasture?

sometimes it feels like i'm chasing my own shadow. or maybe my own ghost. someone i'd forgotten or lost a long time ago. perhaps as a child.

wake up, janet.

it is really time for you to stop, just stop dreaming for once in your life and focus.

it's as if i'm getting ready to run away yet again. as if whatever i'm chasing is caused by whatever is chasing me. and i am in this cat and mouse game with my shadow and my ghost. chasing each other towards oblivion. sometimes it gets tiring. chasing something you don't know. but it's the only way i know how to cope. it's the only way i know of to exist.

so i run, and i dream. i do anything but live in the present.

we're the new face of failure...

2008-04-30T15:43:00.005+10:00

...prettier and younger but not any better off.

i'm at an age where i think i should be able to handle most of the shit that happens in the grand scheme of being we call life. the reality is, there are still a lot of things that are beyond me and my control. and sometimes i can't help but feel incapacitated.

is it better to know what is wrong but not know how to fix it or to not know at all?

is it better to know what you want but not know how to achieve them or to go about like an ignorant fool?

all around the world people my age, even those younger than i, are achieving great things. comparatively, i feel like i have achieved nothing of significance. still as much a parasite as i was when i was inoculated in my mother's womb, living off what my parents can give.

if i am not who i am and do not want for as much as i want, can i help you that way?